Mil what did you do??(3 Posts)
If you have had problems with your mil what happened in the end? You always read mil from hell stories but wht happens in the end?? Did use resolve it? Did you end all communication, divorce hubby?? Or what would you like to of happened???
I was so good to my MiL, even though no one was ever good for her two sons. Everybody said that she disliked girls,She came on holiday with us twice and ruined both holidays. I paid for things in her home, new tv, central heating and invited her for meals. My OH just ignored her most of the time so I tried to talk to her when she visited. All this despite her being disapproving of me. The kids liked her and she did love them. She would come for a meal once or twice a week and I would collect her and drive her home.
The final straw came when she refused to speak to my DD or her boyfriend because she was pregnant at 19. They both lived with us and my DD had a really stressful pregnancy. So DH and I went to her house and told her she was no longer welcome if she could not be civil in our home. I had known her for 25 years and she said "no loss, you have never been a good Daughter-in-law to me"
When the baby was born my DD went to see her with her son and she acted like nothing had ever happened. She was accepted back in our home and behaved herself, but the meals were cut dramatically to once every three weeks. My SIL is such a lovely guy and she had nothing but praise for him as he was so generous hearted to her.
It really opened my eyes to how my two sons and my SIL were treated compared to by DD and DiLs.
Mine isn't quite so dramatic as that but mil never liked me (or any dp's previous girlfriends or any of sil's bfs ever, so I know now it's nothing personal really).
Long story short though she was a bit of a nutter on ds's first Christmas. Totally took over and called me fit to burn when I suggested that some of the (six giant sacks of toys) should stay in her house until ds had grown into them as we didn't have anywhere to put them (think ride ons for an 11 week old). It ended with me sobbing and her calling me a bitch who didn't want her to have anything to do with ds (which was massively untrue, I had in fact repeatedly said I hope ds is as close to his nanas as I am to mine, ie, very close!
That was the main thing that kicked everything off but there was an unpleasant undercurrent of 'I've done this twice so I know better than you how to look after your baby' type of thing that seems to be so prevalent.
Dp basically stepped up, told her in no uncertain terms she had acted appallingly and wouldn't accept anyone treating the mother of his son in that manner.
She refused to admit she was wrong or apologise and we went low contact, only speaking to her if she called (and only dp).I tried to get him to talk to her in this time but he is just as stubborn and was having none of it
He said he had nothing to say to her until she wound her neck in.
Three months (and dps birthday ignored by his own mother in her stubbornness) she finally admitted to going over board and overstepping boundaries.
Amends were made and she realized that if she didn't behave herself she wouldn't get a look in, so while we'll never be close we have a reasonable relationship now (in fact the three of us are going to her house today)
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