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Advice needed!

(19 Posts)
LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 19:11:37

Hi everyone

I just wanted some friendly advice really as I've found something out today and I'm really quite upset about it.

So my Son had his Christening very recently. We were bought presents as is the norm and at the after do my Husband and I opened them and said thank you to each guest in turn.

Anyway, tonight I've received a message from my sister in law saying that the bracelet bought buy (what I thought to be) my other sister and brother in law specifically for my Son was in fact bought by her for their daughter who was christened two years before - So in effect my Sister in law had just given my Son her daughters christened bracelet because she obviously didn't want it. Worse still my sister other sister in law sat and watched us open the gift and say thank you to them and she pretended she has bought it, right in front of my other sister in laws face!

I had no idea and I've been asked to keep this quiet so as "not to cause trouble in the family". But now I'm left with a christening bracelet and photographs of my son in it on his special day. The bracelet was not meant for him and it was a cheap awful thing to do.

I really want to say something to my horrible sister in law who has done this but I've been asked not to. To be honest id rather have not been told but I have and I can't change that.

This horrid sister in law has a history of doing and saying pretty bad things yet she's seen my my in laws as butter wouldn't melt.

I also feel sorry for her daughter, who the christening bracket was originally given to. Her keepsake gift has beeen taken. What I really want to do is give it back to my niece and say "this is yours" but again I'm told this will start trouble.

What do you think and what would you do? I don't want to in it as it seems so horrible to throw it away. And we are sure it is defnintelt the same bracelet.

Thanks all

MyBrilliantDisguise Thu 05-Oct-17 19:13:58

But why didn't one SIL say to the other, "Hey, that's the one I bought you for your daughter! What are you doing, giving it away?"

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 19:20:07

I said hat to her too. Couldn't believe she didn't say something and doesn't want to!

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere Thu 05-Oct-17 19:23:16

She might have been skint and couldn't afford a gift. Maybe she just didn't like it and passed it on.

I don't see a big deal in regifting things.

I don't think you should say anything and you seem a bit over dramatic about it really.

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 19:39:52

I don't agree.

Santawontbelong Thu 05-Oct-17 19:42:34

I would give the bracelet to charity tbh. . It has no meaning anyway. . Have a lovely day out with your nice sil instead!! Memories are more important than gifts anyway!! Take some pics and frame one for each dc. .

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 19:44:12

Thanks Santa, yes it isn't true re your point about gifts.

I was really more upset about the sentiment (or lack of) behind it I guess. There's a lot of history going on in the background.

Mysharonawoana Thu 05-Oct-17 19:45:46

I recently bought a christening gift and looked at bracelets. I didn’t think there was much of a variety. Are you completely certain it’s the exact same bracelet? Could it be that she has bought the same one, because she liked it or thought it would be nice if the children had matching gifts?

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 19:49:13

Totally certain. My nice SIL (who told me all this) said the bracelet she bought for my niece had a specific mark on it (small scratch) which she was a bit annoyed about when she hit it back from the jewellers but it wasn't enough to be concerned over. Anyway, that mark was on the bracelet my son now has when she looked at it on him on at the christening.

MyBrilliantDisguise Thu 05-Oct-17 19:53:53

I can't understand why she'd give your son a bracelet anyway. What sort of thing was it?

LIZS Thu 05-Oct-17 19:54:27

Why does your sil expect you to sort this put when she is so adamant. It seems like a very passive aggressive route when she has already had the opportunity to say something herself. Are you sure she isn't stirring it between you all?

Alanna1 Thu 05-Oct-17 19:58:37

Well, we got two identical christening bracelets, both from John Lewis.
Plus - who cares? If you like it and she did 't?

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 20:10:30

MyBrilliantDisguise. Christening bracelets are a traditional gift given to a baby being christened.

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 20:12:41

Alanna. I did like it, not beaucsenof what it is but because of the sentiment behind it. That's all changed now.

LIZS - yes I don't understand why I have been told about it given that there's nothing I can do.

I was really just looking for some friendly guidance from people who shared the same view as me.

MyBrilliantDisguise Thu 05-Oct-17 20:21:03

I know christening bracelets are a normal gift, but I hadn't heard of boys being given a bracelet.

Dancinggoat Thu 05-Oct-17 20:21:59

What was the point of your SIL telling you this. If she didn't want anything said why say anything. All I can think is that she felt awful that it had been given to you (fair enough) so tells you so you feel awful too (not fair enough).
She should have said nothing. The only person she should have talked to is the person she gave it too.
She's dragged you into something that you are an innocent party in.

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 20:22:21

Ah I see! I think they are fairly unisex.

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 20:23:32

But my mum has just told me yes it's normally for a girl how she sees it but down to personal opinion I guess

LittleMansMum2017 Thu 05-Oct-17 20:26:49

I totally agree Dancinggoat

I don't see what's been achieve here, apart from causing hurt on my part. I think I will buy my Son my own bracelet for him to keep as it's important keepsake in my eyes.

I'm not happy with either SIL to be honest.

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