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Waiting for the police

(29 Posts)
OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 21:24:15

Back story - I don't live in a good area. We are about two minutes walk from a massive park and my children used to play there regularly, until my ds1 and 2 started having some trouble with a couple of boys. Myself and another mother ended up having to make the decision to keep our boys away from the park.

Tonight Ds1 and DS2 had a friend for a sleepover and were desperate to go to the park. As it's been quite a while, months, I thought maybe the trouble would be over and agreed on the basis their older sister went with them. Ds1 is 9 in October, his friend is 9, dd is 11 and youngest ds is 7 and under diagnosis for autism.

After about an hour they all came home minus my DS2. DS1 was in tears. It transpired that these two boys were at the park and had been name calling then chased them. Ds1 got stuck in a corner of bins and both the boys and an 11 year old girl were hitting and kicking him. He managed to push her off and run back to the house. The friend, my dd and my youngest had also all been hit.

I went straight out to find my youngest and as I neared the park the two lads in question bolted. The girl was still there. My youngest came out from behind a bin when he saw me and he was crying. I spoke to the girl and asked her where her mum stayed. She wouldn't tell me so I told her that if her or the boys hit my children again I would call the police. Then took my son home.

Ten minutes later, knock on the door and it's the mother. I said yes I did speak to her dd when looking for my son and yes I did tell her I would contact the police if her and her friends went near my children again. She said she was calling the police and off she went.

So I'm now here sat waiting for the police. The DD said I had yelled at her (I did not) and called her a 'shite' again, I did not. I told her what I said above and left.

I've managed to calm the children down, my ds has a bruise on his leg where he was kicked and I'm going to have to explain to the friend's mum that her son was hit as well.

So I guess I'm going to be told I shouldn't have said anything at all to the DD, it's just so frustrating and upsetting that my children can't play at the park without being bullied. What would you have done?

Gazelda Sat 23-Sep-17 21:26:26

I wouldn’t have threaded the girl that I’d call the police if she went near the dc again. I’d have called them there and then.
I hope the children soon recover, I imagine they’re all pretty shaken.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 21:30:09

I'm looking to move out of the area as there has been all sorts happening here in the last year from shops being held up and a couple of assaults but it's taking time.

Im also going to speak to the headteacher on Monday, my DD is head girl and Is very responsible and honest. I believe her in what she has told me.

Apparently the two boys were hanging around with teenagers that were setting deodorant cans alight and one of the boys hit my DS1 over the head with one of the cans.

DewDropsonKittens Sat 23-Sep-17 21:30:42

You need to make contact with the police

In future don't leave 11 year olds in charge of 7 year olds with SEN when you know there are issues in the place. That was incredibly irresponsible of you.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 21:36:04

I know my own son and his capabilities, every SEN child is different. If the park was further than a couple of minutes walk it would be a different story.

dowagercountess Sat 23-Sep-17 21:37:03

The mother defended her daughter who had been hitting children up to 4 years younger than her? Explain everything when the police arrive but I highly doubt they will actually take anything further. Do you know the names of the girl/other boys?

I wouldn’t let my children play outside until past 8.30 at that age, particularly a 7 year old, especially as it’s getting darker at night now and you have mentioned you had prior concerns about safety in the area.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 21:44:04

It was between 6.30pm and 8pm, also the park is brightly lit. I do know the names of the children though not where they live.

I didn't actually know if phoning the police would have done anything, so I actually wanted to speak to her parent though I doubt that would have gotten me anywhere.

It's just so frustrating that mine and quite a few other children can't play at this park because of these three and it appears nothing can be done about it.

dowagercountess Sat 23-Sep-17 21:55:30

It’s a shame for the other children who can’t use the park because of a few hooligans, sadly if the reaction from the mother is an anything to go by, it doesn’t sound like getting the school or police involved would do anything.
Hope your DD and DS and friend aren’t too shaken up and feel better soon.

RapidStreaming Sat 23-Sep-17 21:56:07

A fustrating situation, but there is something you can do about it - go there and supervise when ever your kids want to go to the park. Go with another adult. Go there every night until the irritating children realise that the park isn't a free for all, no rules sort of place. They'll move off eventually and find some where else (adult free) to socialise. Reclaim the park as a families park for playing in not a teenagers park for obnoxious behaviour.

PickAChew Sat 23-Sep-17 22:01:08

Brightly lit or not, it's dark not long after 7, now. It's not going to be busy with people other than the rougher kids who attacked your DS. Heck, there's parks I walk through pretty quickly in broad daylight.

Whatshouldmyusernamebe Sat 23-Sep-17 22:02:22

Can't understand why you let them go on their own if you were concerned anyway?

PickAChew Sat 23-Sep-17 22:03:16

And I agree with Rapid. If it's got a bit of a reputation, there aren't going to be many parents/adults there with their kids and dogs (cut and furry type rather than big jaws on chains) so it needs an adult presence to be safe for young kids.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 22:04:07

Yes I've thought about that as honestly I'm back to just stopping the kids going at all again. Sometimes my boys can't even play in their own front garden because of another couple of lads that stay across the road, throwing stones and calling them names. Both my boys are softies, they are not fighters and I don't want them to be. I think the sooner I can move the better.

dantdmistedious Sat 23-Sep-17 22:04:56

I'm sorry but I wouldn't have let them go in the first place.

dantdmistedious Sat 23-Sep-17 22:05:40

X post sorry op.

Is moving on the cards?

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 22:06:18

I let them go because it had been about four months and I do regularly walk my dog by the park, I hadn't seen these two lads in quite a while. They were so desperate to go, the friend staying has moved away two months ago and wanted to go see if any of his old friends were about. But yes, I should have just said no as I did think of the lads when they asked.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Sat 23-Sep-17 22:07:16

Don't stop them going, just go with them!

Whatshouldmyusernamebe Sat 23-Sep-17 22:07:23

Yeh but they could have gone but just with an adult there?

LynetteScavo Sat 23-Sep-17 22:12:55

Have you called the police OP? I would have done. angry

Personally I wouldn't have let my DC go to the park at that time, at that age and I live in a nice area.

My 14yo has to be home by lighting up time.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Sat 23-Sep-17 22:14:19

I have an almost 10yo, very capable, very trustworthy. He'd be fine at the park at his age. 7? No way. Also ASD (HD).

Yeah, you know you own kids, blah blah. Go with them next time.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 22:15:44

I haven't no, I don't see the point as if she has then there is no point me calling, they will be coming anyways, no point in wasting more police time. I will explain my side then. My mum is of the opinion she won't call the police but I know she would have. The rougher families in this area are usually the first to call them in.

timeisnotaline Sat 23-Sep-17 22:16:46

I wouldn't stop them going to the park but I'd go with them op. Your ds2 in particular must have been scared- that wouldn't happen with you there.

Ttbb Sat 23-Sep-17 22:19:47

You should have called the police immediately.really, I don't know what you mean by allowing such young children to run around a park on their own-what if it had been someone worse than a bunch of naughty children?

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sat 23-Sep-17 22:20:26

I will definitely go with them. The thought of him being cornered and hit like that hurts. He is just a sensitive, lovely boy, big hit with the girls because of his nature. All my kids have been through a lot and yes I should have gone with them.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Sat 23-Sep-17 22:20:35

If she's very likely to have called the police, then I would definitely call them to tell them that happened. Maybe in the morning though.

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