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Wedding seating

(17 Posts)
Ck1011993 Tue 19-Sep-17 14:55:22

Myself and DH have been invited to a wedding where I know nobody at all and he only knows a handful of others. The bride and groom are wanting guests to swap seats to sit beside someone new every course and not sitting with their partners (excluding themselves I assume.) Obviously neither of us have any say about what these people do at their wedding but I just wanted to get others opinion on if I am wrong to think this an absurd idea when it is a wedding we are going to and will never see 99% of these people again? I am quite shy and socially awkward around large groups of people I do not know so this is my idea of a nightmare! Keen to hear your thoughts.

Amee1992x Tue 19-Sep-17 14:58:03

We went to a wedding which was more pick a seat not a side. And at dinner we didn't sit with any friends we were with a table full of people we didn't know but had a great laugh throughout. Weddings are to be enjoyed im sure you'll both have a lovely time assuming when the meal is over you can sit by your DH and friends

SilverBirchTree Tue 19-Sep-17 14:58:39

It's one day, I'd indulge them and do my best to cheerfully comply.

I agree though, for introverted people it's a day of hard work...

SisterMoonshine Tue 19-Sep-17 15:03:34

Like a speed dating thing?
Between courses sounds a real pain. Can you imagine?!

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Tue 19-Sep-17 15:05:21

Presumably they haven't raided the local prison for guests. .
Try and see it as a new experience to be enjoyed!!

FuzzyOwl Tue 19-Sep-17 15:05:40

I would hate this but, as you say, it is their wedding and what they have chosen to do. Hopefully the courses aren't very long and all the people are very nice.

NannyR Tue 19-Sep-17 15:06:41

I can see why they think it's a good idea, but as a shy introvert I would absolutely dread this. However it wouldn't stop me going and I'd probably find I'd enjoy myself once there.

I think the trick is to prepare, think about some conversation topics and interesting questions. You'll probably find once the wine starts flowing it will be a bit easier and if you are finding it hard, just remember its only a couple of hours and its all over.

Smartiepants79 Tue 19-Sep-17 15:08:31

How do they intend for this to actually happen? Have they made out 3 separate seating charts with places for everyone for each course?? Or is it more infromal and you just mingle and go to sit where you choose each time.
Unless there are seating plans then there is no way they can actually make this happen. You just sit where you want and stay with your partner if you want to. I'd try and compromise and make an effort to sit with new people but stay together as a couple at the same time.
Can you explain to the bride about how much this will diminish your enjoyment of her day?

PigletWasPoohsFriend Tue 19-Sep-17 15:12:11

Everyone swapping seats every course sounds like a load of facing to me.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Tue 19-Sep-17 15:12:21


FrancisCrawford Tue 19-Sep-17 15:12:28

I was facilitating at a conference where the speaker in the dreaded after lunch spot tried this with the delegates.

It was a complete, unmitigated disaster as delegates Tod her they understood the pint this was making (change effects people) but they didn't want to move.

She insisted

They insisted they weren't moving

Result was speaker lost all credibility. It was mortifying.

It only takes one person who is unwilling to move for this to fall apart.

CurbsideProphet Tue 19-Sep-17 15:12:31

I would hate that and I find it easy to talk to people I don't know. Essentially you will spend the meal making polite conversation with people you won't see again. Just ask how people know the bride and groom / have they travelled far. It's likely you won't care about the answer, but unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it!

Pennywhistle Tue 19-Sep-17 15:14:43

It's a difficult thing to do if you're shy but actually look on the bright side, you won't be stuck with someone dreadful for the entire meal.

I went to a wedding when my children were small where the couple next to us (who we didn't know previously) spent the whole meal criticising me for being a SAHM. They both told me at different times that I couldn't have a)had a very good job if I'd given it up or b) mustn't have been very good at it

I'd have been thrilled to move away from them!

In the end as it's your hosts' request you'll just have to grit your teeth. Hopefully you'll meet some lovely people!

Sparkletastic Tue 19-Sep-17 16:14:26

Bossy and annoying. I bet people won't be arsed to do it. Who is going to officiate? It will just be an unwelcome interruption to whatever conversations are underway. Unutterably naff.

Sweetpea55 Tue 19-Sep-17 16:26:07

I heard about a wedding where the bride and groom thought it would be a really good idea to sit everyone next to total strangers, They thought it would get guests to chat to people they didn't know,,In fact it had the opposite effect and most of the meal was eaten in virtual silence.
I wasn't a guest , but it wouldn't have worked for me,,I like to chat,

DancesWithOtters Tue 19-Sep-17 16:34:09

I'm an anxious introvert. I would decline the wedding invitation based on this.

Fucking hate stuff like this.

Spam88 Tue 19-Sep-17 16:39:07

My friend had us all swap seats before dessert. There were only 18 of us at the wedding and it was utter chaos...

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