Single mom met this amazing guy but...Scared, not sure what to do...(1 Post)
New to this website...
Looking for nonjudgmental advice on this..
Im 24 years old, with a 2 year old son. We live alone but luckily I have an extremely supportive mom who watches him while I work nights at the local hospital (US here)...Ive been through a lot. My sons father has never met him nor has he ever wanted to, mentioned anything to me or spoke to me. He lives in another state 9 and half hours away and tells people that ask him that my son is not his. Im going through some financial issues right now, struggling to try to support us on my own so I finally put him on CS. I havent seen a dime of it but its only been a couple months...I recently started trying to date again...I met this guy, hes everything id ever want in a mate, stable, sweet, extremely attractive, he cares deeply for my son and I. Its very early on, only been a month and he even bought my son a huge truck set to play with...which might not seem like a big deal to some...but honestly it made me cry. Hes very sweet, im not used to that usually i date assholes my ex was very physically abusive (son of my father) which is why ive waited to put him on CS for so long.....This guy is 33, hes stable, has been in his career field for over 15 years, and he has a 7 year old son...I have not met the son yet....I told him I wanted to wait until things got serious, or if they got serious....Truthfully, I am not very stable right now, I have been going through some serious depression and anxiety over the past year coupled with bipolar disorder and trying to raise my son by myself( with the help of my mom) and the last thing that I want is to confuse his son if we dont work out....Here is my dilemma with him....I am sexually confused....I know thats a little off the wall but ever since I can remember I have had feelings for women...I recently had the chance to have a sexual encounter with a woman and thoroughly enjoyed it but she was a good friend of mine and in a relationship with a man....I will not lie when I say that this guy is extremely attractive and he has no problem turning me on sexually in bed or when I see him but when Im at work, or somewhere else I often fantasize about what it would be like to have sex with a woman. Not a relationship. I have tried to fantasize a relationship with a woman and while im not opposed to it its just never been a fantasy of mine. Maybe because I am traditional, I have never fantasized or romanticized the idea of marrying a woman. Although my dad is gay...I am often afraid that I will end up with someone, marry them and then find out Im gay...as in the case with my dad, he divorced my mom after four children....What has happened with my two previous relationships is that half way through I realize I am bored with them and want to explore what it would be like to be with a woman....I am wondering if I should just let this guy go even though I do really like him, he would be perfect for my son, he cares about my son, and he turns me on/attracts me....I want to settle down and be stable for the sake of my son but I dont want to hurt his son or anyone else if I stay in a relationship which inevitably may not work....
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