House move(12 Posts)
Hi all. After some advice please. I currently live in a rented property but have been offered a house with a local housing association. THe location is great but where the house is isn't the best area. We have done this to cut costs as our rent is horrendous and we can't seem to save any money currently to get anywhere. My parents visited the new house today and upon discussion they have told me they don't like the area and would be concerned for me and my family. They have offered to buy a house and for us to rent it off them ( me and my partner haven't got the best credit scores currently to apply for mortgage + and debt is quite high on what we owe). I like the house that we have been offered as I've never seen it as a forever home just a stepping stone to get us financially in a better position. What would you do- give back the house you have been offered and take your parents up on buying a house for you to rent or keep the house you've been offered. Xx
Take the parents offer. We couldn't have afforded to buy our house without help from parents. They wanted to help and it was only pride that made us not want to accept. Do what's best for your family.
Hmm. How is your relationship with your parents? (And how is their relationship with your DP?)
A HA tenancy is secure - perhaps you'd be better off taking it, saving hard, repairing credit rating and asking your parents if they'd help you buy somewhere further down the line?
If you like the location and the house, why are your parents worried? I'd live happily in lots of places my folks wouldn't- so do they have valid concerns or is it just preference/different opinions?
Actually, one thing I'd talk to them about is what happens when you're in a position to buy a place? Would they sell to you or would they be happy finding tenants to move in?
Ask them about rent and repairs insurance and such
They would need a bit to let mortgage and insurance - unless they can afford outright
Are they normal parents or interfering types? Will they use the house against you?
Is it worth a fall out or is communication generally good
Thanks for replies everyone.
In regards to my relationship with my parents- I have a really good relationship with them and I think they just have genuine concerns with where the street is in regards to it being on a council estate. They are by no means snobs or anything like that but I think they are just used to where we are now which is a much more family focused area. I get that they want to help us and I think it's probably pride (more my partners than mine as he thinks he should be able to provide for his family) but a messy breakup with his ex pretty much ruined his credit chances and he's the major earner. I would never want to ask my parents for help as it looks like I'm failing as a parent and a daughter. X
Could you afford the rent your parents would charge you?
Would they pay for all maintenance issues at the house?
Do you know that they'd buy a house that suited your needs?
Would they use the house as a way of controlling/manipulating you?
My point is: you don't want to damage your relationship with your parents. It is potentially a brilliant offer that could be a huge gift to you/dp if you truly use the more affordable rent to pay off debts and get ahead.
I would also say to your DH that paying rent - to who ever - is still paying rent - the fact that they are your parents doesn't make him less of a provider - unless he has a difficult relationship with them
I have been in a few 'unique' housing situations so feel im a tiny bit qualified to answer.
People, be it family, friends or bosses (or people you work with) have every good intention when they make offers like this.It may be to rent one of their houses, to have you share their home or even (and this has happened to me), buy you a house of your choosing and then rent it back to you for the going rate. BUT, it rarely ends well and i will tell you why.
They may be completely reasonable people who are making this grand gesture because they care about you/are your friend/want to help you out. It will appear that it is no strings and they will tell it is no strings and for all intents and purposes it will be no strings. You pay rent and get to live somewhere you like/have chosen etc
In my experience and from friends in similar situations, the difficulties arise when one day, (and it will come) they ask something of you, it maybe accommodation related or it may not be accommodation related, but you cant do it for whatever reason, all of a sudden and it happens completely subconsciously, (because remember, these are completely amicable, reasonable, normal people), they are thinking 'but, i bought you a house!'
And BAM! Hello bad feeling/resentment/subconscious hating on you/etc. You get the drift.
The situation I ended up in was linked to my job and renting a property from them and having it thrown in my face when i decided to move on career wise. I couldnt then wait to get out of the rental contract we had got ourselves fixed into. My personal relationship with my boss then disintegrated and we couldnt even continue the friendship we had struck up.
I have since been offered other situations like this and have flat out refused. I valued my relationships with the people offering too much to risk it over them housing me and my having already been in this situation and not wishing a repeat it.
People offer these things with every good intention, but believe me, it has a very real risk of going very wrong, very quickly.
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