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Needing some relationship advice

(3 Posts)
Shazlay1 Sat 13-May-17 22:52:19

Hi there everyone, any advice would be much appreciated. I've been with my partner over a year now. Before we went out I knew he had experimented with other men but he assured me that it was just experimentation. A few months into the relationship and after he had been on a lads holiday I found out he had been googling gay bars in that area and watching transgender porn, when I asked him he again assured me that it was out of curiosity and he hasn't done anything. I believed him at that point.
6 months later or so (and we're just about to move in together) I find out he has been watching transgender porn again, I've been trying to do some research and understand all this but can't get my head around it all. This is something that I will never be able to give him sad he obviously finds men attractive and fantasies about them, how can I live upto that? Is he going to cheat because I can't give him what he desires? Honestly any help or advice would be appreciated. Thanks

tabithasgran Tue 16-May-17 18:03:55

Just seen this. I think you both need to sit down and talk. It may be that he's wanting a straight relationship to hide his true feelings or he could be just 'looking' but wants the real relationship you are offering.
If this is a deal breaker for you, you have to tell him and let him then choose . He either stays with you and stops farting about like this OR he goes off and does the gay bars and other stuff on his own. A relationship needs to be built on trust and mutual respect . Currently he seems to be breaking both of these golden rules .

ImperialBlether Tue 16-May-17 18:19:20

A friend of mine is gay and has told me several times about married men who hang around gay bars and have sex with other men, while their wives remain in ignorance. I would be very wary of continuing a relationship with this man tbh.

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