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Relocating fresh start

(8 Posts)
user1493298243 Thu 27-Apr-17 14:15:35

Hi. I'm goin through separation, but not ready to let my husband go. A lot has gone on over the 1 half that we have been separated. He has met someone else and it's killing me and don't want to c him with her. So thinking of relocation from Northampton to Dorset area. Has anyone else done this and can advise me if kinda running away is the best thing to do for a drag start. Have children 16, 5 and 3. I just want to stop hurting and move on. But with him always around I feel I can't.

AlpacaLypse Thu 27-Apr-17 14:19:20

Do you have family/friends in the Dorset area? And is the 16 yr old about to sit GCSEs?

user1493298243 Thu 27-Apr-17 14:27:04

No I don't have family or friends there. By the time I can move my eldest will have finished his GCSEs. It will b a complete fresh start.

With the separation I have become alone due to him making me look the bad one.

CrazedZombie Thu 27-Apr-17 15:49:57

Its going to be super hard for contact.

Ex and I live in different areas - Luton and Milton Keynes. Far enough that we aren't going to bump into each other but only 45 minutes in a car which is reasonable for the kids.

user1493298243 Thu 27-Apr-17 16:07:47

I know I get that. But right now he has made more of a life in my own town than me. I live in such a small town everyone knows his side and ppl blank me, yet he was the one that had an affair and turned to alcohol

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 27-Apr-17 16:09:46

Be aware if you move far and he takes you to court you may be expected to fund travel to maintain dc and df relationships!!

AlpacaLypse Fri 28-Apr-17 21:52:26

You're still hurting, perfectly natural in the circumstances. He's clearly an arse.

I have a RL friend in your position. Her solution was to move to another market town that is still satellite to our big town - about 40 minutes drive from here. It means PooFaceTwit Ex H has to make a faint effort to come and see the children, and more importantly has to be sober to do so. Which was one of the massive issues when everyone was still within walking distance.

RL Friend has a local mum and more than a few friends who are holding hands with and for her.

Do you have this type of support network? Could FB/MN supply it?

user1493298243 Sat 29-Apr-17 10:30:48

I barely have any support network in the town I live in. So moving away won't b much different to how life is now. Yes I'm hurting so so much. Never felt so lonely. But I feel like I'm bein judged all the time, I me not b but that's how I feel.

He was the one that had an affair and turned to drink we she went back to her husband not thinking twice about us. I spent years the bad one in a way having a go out him cause was always goin out and never wanting to spend time at home. So none of this is his fault! Because he is out all the time he obviously talks to ppl and now I'm hated for being the bad one.

I'm so worried what ppl think of me that I'd rather start all over again far away but not too far so it's it's difficult for him to c the kids.

I love my home, but I feel trapped here

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