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Ex is dating a ss duty facilitator and she's threatening to get ss involved.

(28 Posts)
user1492816565 Sat 22-Apr-17 00:39:51

Ok so long story short ex partner at this present time doesn't have access to see he's child. He's a functioning alcoholic and has put he's safety at risk on many occasions the last being driving him home to me drunk. He has a new partner who from what I've been told by mutual acquaintances is very similar to my ex and from story's my son has repeated. Anyway she has contacted me a few times now trying to row and everytime I've either ignored her messages or said i have no idea why she is contacting me and to go away. Tonight she has contacted me threatening her position as a duty facilitator to the ss to use this against myself with my children. I've never had social services involvement there has been no need I've always put my children first. Can she do this? She is saying i have got 7 deliverys sent to her house tonight. I'm assuming she means take aways but 1 i have no clue where she lives i know what town they live in (not the same one as me) but that's it and 2 I'm not a teenager. Can she really threaten using her position against me? And if i was going to report it who would i report it to? It just doesn't seem fair I'm trying to take the moral high ground and ignore them yet things are just getting worse. Her messages the other day were of how she worries for my mental state and alot of talking down to me. There's nothing wrong with my mental state, my ex used to use that when we was together he would get drunk and hit me and then the next day say I'd made it up I'm mad. I've blocked both their numbers from contacting my phone but tonight she has used social media which i have now blocked. Sorry for the rant lol any help would be greatly appreciated.

AntigoneJones Sat 22-Apr-17 00:45:55

does she work for SS or what/who? What is a duty facilitator exactly?
Good that you have blocked them.
I would find out exactly who a 'duty facilitator' works for and report her.

SparkleSoiree Sat 22-Apr-17 00:48:20

If it was me I would tell her to stop contacting me or else I would be filing a complaint of harassment with the police.

May be enough to make her back off.

user1492816565 Sat 22-Apr-17 00:49:56

Yeah she works as a duty facilitator for ss to be honest i have absolutely no clue what that means. It's just getting to me now there was always trouble when my son had contact and now it's carried on I've tried my best to just ignore it but thats just taking it to far. What if a social worker comes out that is her friend?

tallwivglasses Sat 22-Apr-17 00:51:00

She's probably bullshitting but best to do some detective work. Save the messages. She sounds bonkers.

AntigoneJones Sat 22-Apr-17 00:51:53

User, you have to (in my opinion) beat her to it and put in an official complaint to her employers.

MommaGee Sat 22-Apr-17 00:53:22

Keep every single message. I'd even screen shot and send to a friend you trust.

If you know where she works you could report to them or ignore her and assume its all mouth.
. either way keep the evidence

BuckinghamLass Sat 22-Apr-17 00:53:41

Ask to speak with her superior. If it's a legitimate complaint she'll have no hesitation doing so.

user1492816565 Sat 22-Apr-17 00:54:17

Yeah I've saved all messages and screenshot the social media ones too. It does say on her fb she is a duty facilitator.

user1492816565 Sat 22-Apr-17 00:57:00

That's a good point if i beat her to it and put in a complaint whatever crap she comes out with will hopefully not be taking seriously. Plus i could email them all the threats from her too so they can see that.

TheCraicDealer Sat 22-Apr-17 00:58:35

I'd complain. I've no idea what that job title is, but I can't imagine SS would look too kindly on their staff threatening people. If she had genuine concerns she would know it was her duty to follow due process not tell the person you're going to report them! And she's even more of an idiot if she put it all in writing fgs. it would be the same as being in the police or HMRC and abusing (or threatening to) your "position". Pip her to the post and tell her supposed employers.

VimFuego101 Sat 22-Apr-17 00:59:08

I agree - go to her employers.

Neverknowing Sat 22-Apr-17 01:08:20

Wow definitely complain to her employers, she's trying to abuse her position. The idea of someone that crazy working with ss is scary to me!

MiscellaneousAssortment Sat 22-Apr-17 01:12:47

Do you have her threats in writing/ text form?

Abusing her position and using her social services colleagues and department as a threat to manipulate someone in her private life is absolutely disgusting.

It would be taken very seriously but it's also the kind of thing that ss would be extremely skeptical about unless you have evidence.

I wonder what a ss facilitator actually is? It's not necessarily a position of power and she may well be portraying herself as more senior and more in authority than she is. That would match her behaviour actually, as a qualified social worker upwards would be highly unlikely to risk their career in this way. Anything is possible though...

Evidence evidence evidence is what you need to focus on right now. With evidence, you are in a strong position. She and your ex may like to think they have oh so much power as they bully and harass you ... but the more they behave like this, the more power they give to you flowers

Butterymuffin Sat 22-Apr-17 01:14:33

Take screenshots, quickly, before she removes anything, then contact SS and ask about making a complaint. If you have proof of this she has totally shot herself in the foot.

MadamePomfrey Sat 22-Apr-17 01:14:37

Screenshot and complain! Even if she had a genuine issue (not that she does) she's is massively breaking protocol to threaten you due to her position! Save everything don't engage and contact ss saying you are being threatened by their employee ( screen shot the part of her profile where she links her job too!!) it most cases that in it's self is a big no no!

OutToGetYou Sat 22-Apr-17 01:14:38

Actually, I'd just go to the police. It's harassment.

user1492232552 Sat 22-Apr-17 01:16:09

I dated a SW, the most mentally unsound person I've ever come across, genuinely. If I wrote the shit he used to come out with nobody on here would believe me and yet there he was standing in judgement of others, it's fucking scary.
I'd be complaining straight away to nip this in the bud.

newdaylight Sat 22-Apr-17 01:19:44

She's coming out with absolute rubbish. I'm a social worker. I've never heard of a duty facilitator. She's told you she's sent deliveries. Save and screenshot everything and report to police tomorrow to see if you can get a harassment order in place.

Complain to the local authority. Find out how by looking up the official complaints department because they still look into it properly. Don't just ring up If she is involved fact an employee, especially in relation to social services, this is a serious disciplinary breach.

And nothing to worry about btw, it's empty threats.

VoodooPeople Sat 22-Apr-17 01:20:42

What is she going to report you for?

YNK Sat 22-Apr-17 01:23:22

She's a raving nutjob!
I don't believe her story one little bit.
Childrens Services would not have someone working on something that they were personally involved with - it just wouldn't happen.
The most she could do is make a referral, like anyone can, and believe me, SS are well used to malicious referrals and don't take kindly to it.

choccywoccywoowah Sat 22-Apr-17 01:48:11

Report to the HCPC

highinthesky Sat 22-Apr-17 01:48:49

She is overstepping the mark by swinging her so-called authority in your direction. Complain to the HCPC:

highinthesky Sat 22-Apr-17 01:49:10

Snap! grin

Molly333 Sat 22-Apr-17 07:33:57

I work for SS in fact in that role , I can't tell you much except this is a massive breach of her position and you should make a formal complaint to the head of social services ( if not it will get lost in admin) . I repeat this is a massive breach of her position

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