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Holidaying with conservative relatives

(11 Posts)
CatSittingMonkey Fri 21-Apr-17 12:08:48

Ok, I'll try to keep this short and to the point...

I am attending a close family members wedding in the summer. It is abroad in a hot, non restrictive country that we visit regularly.

My side of the family, whilst fairly liberal still have some very backward views about how one should dress in front of "elders" amongst many other things.

The grooms side of the family are hugely old school and have extremely outdated views about such things - the grooms father hasn't spoken to his daughter in years because she married someone of a different race/colour. Quite frankly it sickens me.

I am neither religious nor particularly ingrained in the culture as I don't have much time for the patriarchal, controlling bull peddled by my family and usually happily wear bikinis abroad with not even an eyebrow raised by my mother.

However, my mother is starting to make a big deal about me "parading around" dressed "inappropriately" ie daring to wear a bikini on the beach/round the pool infront of our older (male) members of the family.

I am a grown woman but I'm being made to feel like a child and that I should conform so as to not disappoint my mother or have her face the snidey remarks from her family members.

WWYD? Continue as you would on holiday in a country where there are no rules about how to dress/cover up or cave in and purchase swimsuits/heavier cover ups?

agentace Fri 21-Apr-17 15:13:07

If it was me I would wear what my usual is - i.e. bikini. I'd probably not take my skimpiest one and make sure I had a cover up or two with me for lunches by the pool or similar, but otherwise that's it! Their hang up, not your problem.

AlternativeTentacle Fri 21-Apr-17 15:16:40

'Because if you wear a bikini they will what? Keel over? Get an enormous hard on? Don't be so abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous mother'.

Reow Fri 21-Apr-17 15:17:35

How about biblical swimming cossies?

Old conservative rellies can't complain if you're Eve from the Bible can they. Everyone's happy grin

rollonthesummer Fri 21-Apr-17 15:18:41

Whose pool is it? Are you staying in this man's house?

I'd go and stay in an apartment or hotel where these people won't be and enjoy my holiday.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Fri 21-Apr-17 15:20:24

I would really try and help my mother understand that my actions don't reflect on her any more, and that her getting stressed about something that hasn't happened yet is spoiling the build up to a nice event. Cos I like my mum (I'm sure you do too!) and she's just responding to her own conditioning and upbringing.

And then I'd wear what the hell I liked, of course.

CatSittingMonkey Fri 21-Apr-17 19:48:00

Sorry for the coming back to this so much later.

Phew! I'm so relieved you're all on the same page as me. It helps to hear it from other people as it's so easy to doubt myself when my mother gets going!

rollon we're all staying in the same hotel, so little chance to escape!

Lonny oh how I try to get her to see that but sadly it's so ingrained in her and her sister never lets her forget it!

Thanks ladies, I will carry on as I had planned and lose the guilt.

PastysPrincess Fri 21-Apr-17 19:58:27

I suppose it depends on your definition of what a bikini is lolgrin

CatSittingMonkey Fri 21-Apr-17 22:01:40

grin maybe I should offer that as a "get over yourselves" hahahaha

PastysPrincess Sat 22-Apr-17 07:22:26

Well I suppose if you rock up in that and then "compromise" by changing into your normal bikini it might not seem as bad wink

CatSittingMonkey Sat 22-Apr-17 07:53:36

Hah love it!

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