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Take it further?!

(11 Posts)
srstmy Sun 09-Apr-17 01:26:42

So just after some opinions,
I met a guy threw my son ( he teaches him) hes a bit younger than me. And knows i have two children.
Well we got chatting on social media.. At first it was chat regarding son and his lesson, very professional conversation, With both of us aware of the boundary between teacher and parent and sticking to it.
But after a week or so we started to feel more comfortable chatting i guess and these boundaries started to slip. I now feel like we talk on a level as friends, though my son does still come up in convo a fair bit.
Anyways recently the conversation has got a bit flirter, from us both, maybe more me!? I dunno! Weve chatted on messenger everyday for the last few weeks! From good morning to good night. Ive hinted at meeting up, going out for a drink together. And hes always just laughed it off like im not being serious maybe?! But hes not said no, and is still messeging me all day long.

What is the deal with this!?!? Hes not a player or kind of guy to want to pull and oldsr women for the craic! To be honest if he wS he couldve by now.

Just not sure what to do... Do we just keep chatting and flirting and see if we ever do go on a date?! Should i ask him out more outright!? Or should i back off and see what happens!

differentnameforthis Sun 09-Apr-17 04:19:19

He's married?

srstmy Sun 09-Apr-17 14:25:29

No he's definatley completely single! He broke up with a short term gf a few months back

Lisa282820 Mon 10-Apr-17 00:09:39

Is he a teacher at your sons school or a private tutor?
I don't think there are any boundaries at my school between teacher and parent or any guidelines. Obviously there are very clear guidelines between teacher and pupil for good reason but none between consenting adults.

srstmy Mon 10-Apr-17 00:23:07

Its like a club setting. To be fair i think the only boundary i feel really is that the guy who owns the club may not like it.. Incase it brings drama to his club if we got together argued broke up etc. That said hes a nice bloke so i think if he seen we had feelings for eachother he'd be ok. :-/ still i feel pretty moxed messeges from him. Feel like something is holding him back. Maybe it is that he feels uncomfortable since he teaches my son!? I dunno!

Lisa282820 Mon 10-Apr-17 00:30:52

He probably does feel that the boundaries are a bit unclear as would I but honestly I would go for it if it feels right.
Could your son attend a different club?

srstmy Mon 10-Apr-17 00:48:22

So i should just ask him out outright? Yeah my son could go to another club but id rather not have to move him.

Lisa282820 Mon 10-Apr-17 02:22:04

I'm not sure...
you say he's holding back! If he tells you that you have it all wrong and he simply wanted a friend you may feel awkward.
However only you will be able to gauge it from his messages.
Maybe talk a little longer and see how it goes.
Or just ask😂
I'm not sure I'm the right person to be offering relationship advice anyway judging by the state of my own 😂
Good luck whatever you do and keep me updated x

srstmy Mon 10-Apr-17 09:05:21

Im not sure why he'd want a friendship with me when im older than him. It would be a weird friendship for him to have really. Tho he is a chatty guy.
But the messeges are very mixed.. When we first got talking we didnt put kisses on the ends of our messeges.. He then started putting one on his.. Then he started putting two.. I kno it sounds silly but there was thought in that from him both times! We have definatley flirted..and i feel like its got to the point where you would normally progress by meeting up.. Yet i feel like hes reluctant to make that step. Maybe he thinks if he does that things will go faster than hes ready for?! Maybe hes worried what ppl will think about him dating someone not only older than him but with children. Maybe he wants to be sure so it doesnt become awkward at the club! I pretty sure no one there even know we messege eachother! I suppose thinking about it there is lots of things that could be holding him bk and wanting him to take it slow.just annoying when we talk all day long and get in so well!

srstmy Wed 12-Apr-17 20:58:07

So monday.. He asked me
To join him on his night out, i declined as i couldn't get a babysitter at such short notice..but suggested we plan a night out. He agreed and asked where id like to go and what id like to do. Nothing was planned as such but we chatted about this 'date' that night he messeged me when out saying 'i should have came' then again at 2.30am telling me what it had been like.. We chatted all day tuesday. Tonight he's been teaching my son again. And we barely spoke while there! He was really quite quiet and awkward with me to be honest! Wtf!? Hes so confusing! Do i ask him whats up?! Or just leave it?! Could he be embarrased?! Or maybe he just didnt wanna chat infront of ppl there?! Or maybe he doesnt like me!? Dont get him!

Ladyformation Thu 13-Apr-17 14:13:45

Just ask him if he'd like to go out on your date next week! No need for all the angst...

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