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Domestic violence

(16 Posts)
Amyceleste96 Sat 08-Apr-17 08:17:59

I just need some advice I was in a really bad relationship were he broke my fingers and put a knife to me while I was holding our son he scares the life out of me its been. Going on for a year now we're he mentally controlled me I lost who I was ? Now I just feel completely empty like nothing his parents want to see my child but they have been really intimidating and I am absolutely petrified of them but social services said his father isn't allowed near him, I just don't feel safe with my son near them and he doesn't no his father's parents I'm just so confused in what to do as I don't want them near me as they are really abusive aswell 😞

Hassled Sat 08-Apr-17 08:22:58

You say no. If they want access, they can go to court for it - they don't have an automatic right of contact - useful link. If you can't cope with dealing with them, is there anyone else who can - someone who will call/text and say there won't be any contact because you don't think it's in your son's best interests? You have the control here, not them - don't let them tell you otherwise.

Megatherium Sat 08-Apr-17 08:24:38

Refuse to let them have anything to do with your child, and get social services to support you. If they're intimidating and abusive, report them to the police. In the longer term, can you move away so they can't find you?

Amyceleste96 Sat 08-Apr-17 08:28:29

It's just scary as they say they have grandparent rights but they are abusive as his dad father is an alcoholic it just makes me sick to think of them being round my son as I feel like he's not safe

Amyceleste96 Sat 08-Apr-17 08:30:19

I already have had a solicitor sending out a letter but my babies dad sister literally want to hurt me the council are putting me in for a move so hopefully I should move soon I'm so scared in this house

Amyceleste96 Sat 08-Apr-17 08:32:24

I'm also pregnant aswell to him I'm just really scared the police are involved but that won't stop his family coming here and doing stuff to me as he is getting charged with assault

Rainbowqueeen Sat 08-Apr-17 08:40:02

Grandparents don't have rights (ok they met in exceptional circumstances where they have been main carers)

If they come near you call the police.

Can you talk to Shelter to see if they can help you get moved to a new house sooner??

Horrible situation, I hope you are able to move away soon

CheckpointCharlie2 Sat 08-Apr-17 08:45:58

They don't have any rights. That's bullshit.
What a nightmare, if they threaten you in any way or try to intimidate you, call the police.

Lisa282820 Mon 10-Apr-17 02:41:33

I would say no chance.
Don't be scared as that is what the police are for.
The entire family sound vile and you are well rid!
Next they would probably ask to see your son alone and you wouldn't know if your ex would be around.
Stay strong you and do what you feel is right and go with your instincts x

Gallavich Mon 10-Apr-17 04:06:57

Just say no. Move as far away as you can, change your number and have aliases on your social media. They have no rights and they are dangerous.

newdaylight Mon 10-Apr-17 04:40:00

Grandparent rights don't exist. Do not let them have contact, full stop. For real life support look to your social worker, domestic abuse workers, women's aid as well as any informal support you have if he hasn't isolated you from it.

Consider changing address even if you cant move town

newdaylight Mon 10-Apr-17 04:41:08

If you are in social housing they should support you to move quickly in this situation, for your safety

Amyceleste96 Mon 10-Apr-17 07:58:52

They have I have bidded on a property this morning it says I was 5th in the que but your not allowed to bid on a Monday and they have put me in 7th place and is says open next to the bid do I have a chance ?

Amyceleste96 Mon 10-Apr-17 14:39:51

Thanks everyone sometimes it's just mind games they act nice but I know it is just for their sons sake xx

newdaylight Mon 10-Apr-17 15:58:03

I don't know too much about the bidding system, just that of they know that moving will be helpful to your and your child's safety due to domestic abuse they will give you a higher priority ranking. If they don't know yet it's very worthwhile telling them.
Sounds like you're doing all the right things

Amyceleste96 Mon 10-Apr-17 20:03:09

Thank-you ! They have put me on band b so just a waiting game now seeming to come 5th place xxx

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