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Someone i vaguely know asking me to go with her

(51 Posts)
user1488460762 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:00:44

While she gives birth? Our DDs are in the same class (year 1) so have spoken to her for about a year and a half. We have been on a couple of play dates and we say a quick hello on the 3 days i see her at school. She is 9 momths pregnant and has just text me telling me she is in hospital in labour and will i go up and be her birthing partner as she is alone. Now i would not want anyone to be alone giving birth but a) i have no childcare for my own children and b) i barely know her and don't feel at all comfortable being there at such a private thing. What do i do/say? I feel awful that she is alone

Mcchickenbb41 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:06:09

Oh poor thing. I feel sorry for her. Ok it may have been an unexpected tx on your part but she must be desperate. If this were me and I could get childcare I would go. But I do get your predicament with that issue alone as I'm someone who has hardly any childcare options

user1487175389 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:07:22

I'd probably try to find a way to do it but finding childcare is easier said than done. And if you're not comfortable she'll be aware and it'll impact her labour. Maybe try to find her a doula?

Mcchickenbb41 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:09:58

Did she know she would be alone or has something happened to lead to this ? Who's looking after her other dc ? Could you offer to have the dc so they could go to the hospital perhaps ?

user1488460762 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:12:24

I would go but childcare just isn't an option, my parents are dead and my DD has never spent a night away from me and is autistic, getting a babysitter isn't really something i can do especially at this time, she is a terrible sleeper and usually gets up every 30ish minutes. I feel awful.

TartYvette Mon 03-Apr-17 19:12:37

Do your utmost to be there. This is the pinnacle of life experiences! it would cost you so little (big inconvenience but relatively small amount) to be an absolute rock for her. I would drop everything and run. (I hope)

TartYvette Mon 03-Apr-17 19:14:21

Sorry, cross post, I didn't realise you had extra issues.

user1488460762 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:15:43

*mcchickenbb41 *i cannot believe i didn't think of that, great idea i'm on it now, thank you

Beachturtle Mon 03-Apr-17 19:16:03

That seems really odd - surely she'd thought about this in advance? Who is her DD with? Could you have the DD to you and whoever has her go up to the hospital?

Mcchickenbb41 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:16:47

Hi user. Ok I hear you, iv had similar issues. What about the idea I posted above ? Who's looking after her dd ? Could you have the dd?

Beachturtle Mon 03-Apr-17 19:16:50

massive x-post, good luck!

Mcchickenbb41 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:17:21

Lol no probs. Glad I could help x

alphabetti91 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:19:22

I was in your situation a few years ago, with a son with autism too! The poor lady wasn't expecting to be kept in hospital and they had no time to arrange childcare so DH stayed at home and I had my DP watch LO while I went with her (I'd met her once but spoke often).
It was incredible and I now have a beautiful goddaughter.
I didn't feel comfortable offering to watch the children as they'd never met me but if they have that might be a better idea for you smile

user1488460762 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:23:46

Thanks for the replies, all sorted and off to pick up her DCs

VimFuego101 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:24:50

That's really nice of you, OP flowers

Mcchickenbb41 Mon 03-Apr-17 19:25:12

Well done user I'm sure she will be so grateful for that alone. Xx

sandgrown Mon 03-Apr-17 19:29:01

That's kind of you but you missed a great opportunity. Watching a birth that you are not participating in is amazing

user1488460762 Mon 03-Apr-17 22:14:01

Well plan A didn't work out but plan B resulted in me watching a beautiful little 8 lb 7 girl being brought into the world! AMAZING!

HerculesMulligan Mon 03-Apr-17 22:15:13

Oh, lovely! What a special thing to be a part of.

user1488460762 Mon 03-Apr-17 22:39:21

It really was! Unbelievably emotional and the lady i went with was fantastic. Absolutely unforgetable, so glad i went.

isupposeitsverynice Mon 03-Apr-17 22:42:45

Aww lovely well done for rallying round. I think she will never forget you. flowers

Scarftown Mon 03-Apr-17 22:44:14

How lovely.

Mcchickenbb41 Mon 03-Apr-17 22:51:43

flowersflowersoh how lovely op. I'd love to be present at a birth. It would feel like such an honour. I think you'll find your friendship may have moved up a few notches now. So glad you were able to help her x

sandgrown Tue 04-Apr-17 01:01:39

Glad you were able to go. I was invited to the birth of my grandsons and it was amazing.smile

RelentlesslyPositive Tue 04-Apr-17 01:07:05

Bless you a thousand times for going! I gave birth to my second son completely on my own and it was terrifying. You have done a great thing flowers

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