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ExH problem? Help!

(6 Posts)
Flowerpow123 Thu 30-Mar-17 08:59:40

NC for this as to not out myself.

ExH and I have been divorced for 3 years & have 3 DC. We get on really well and are friends. He's getting married in the summer, which I'm invited to and I'm also good friends with his fiancé.

Anyway LSS - I was invited to a friends reception party the other week, who are mutual friends of mine & ExH's. ExH's fiancé didn't go because she was working away.

ExH came up to me about 10:30pm (just as I was about to leave) to ask how I was getting home. I said I'd organised a taxi. ExH asked if he could join. Of course no problem, we're both going the same way. ExH is clearly very very drunk and can barely see straight, but as I said "yes of course" he said thanks, and went in to give me a kiss. I nervously laughed and pushed him away. Forgot about it after that.

Afterwards though, as we were getting out of the taxi, I expected him to start walking towards his house (he doesn't live so far from me) but he kind of just hung around for a while. I told him to go home but he said he wanted to stay with me. I obviously said no. In fact I laughed in his face. He then played the "so you're not gonna let me see my children" card. The kids were at my parents for the evening so I told him they weren't here.

He persisted and was convinced he was going to stay on my sofa. I told him no, he needed to go home and I'd walk him if I needed to.

He said he didn't want me to do that, eventually agreed to go home but again tried to kiss me and said "I'll always love you"

At first, I thought nothing much of it, I know that drunk ExH can be very touchy feely anyway and is a bit of a prat when he's drunk, but I just shrugged it off down to the fact he's probably feeling a bit lonely, considering his DP is away.

But the other day I got a text - it's his weekend with the kids this weekend, so I assumed it was about that. I opened the text which read "sorry for the other night. You deserve better than me, as we agreed all those years ago. You're a fantastic mother and I'll always love you for that."

I replied saying "you were just drunk. Don't worry about it"

He then said "but I know how I was feeling."

That was it I didn't reply.

Wtf would you do in this situation??? I really like his OH she is good friend, I have to tell her, right?!?!?!?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Mon 03-Apr-17 10:24:42

He was drunk /hungover /reminiscing...
Forget about it and move on. . .

MrsELM21 Mon 03-Apr-17 12:28:26

Eeek, I wouldn't mention anything just yet, leave it (sounds like you've handled it very well so far) and see if anything else happens...

Astro55 Mon 03-Apr-17 12:32:24

I'd leave it too - you've moved on.

He may well feel that he has mucked up being married once and feeling apprehensive about getting hitched again.

No harm was done and it makes no difference to you. You have nothing to gain from talking about it

HeddaGarbled Mon 03-Apr-17 23:18:38

What a prat. He must think he's god's gift.

I think rather than tell her, I'd actually text something back to him to let him know that he was well out of order. All this, ah, he was drunk and nostalgic indulgence is letting him off the hook. He was looking to cheat on his fiancé and thought you'd be an easy lay. Insulting to both of you. Thank goodness you've got more self respect.

bignamechangeroonie Mon 03-Apr-17 23:32:42

No, don't tell her. It's up to them to sort out. It will just make things difficult if she then stays with him and has to go on knowing that you know - you've got children and it could be really awkward.

Forget it ever happened, he's a dick.

I would normally say you must tell her but in this case with kids in the mix, nope.

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