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What do you think about this man's interaction with my dd?

(13 Posts)
CutiePatootie1 Wed 29-Mar-17 13:34:27

Went into preschool to pick up my 4 year old and a man who I vaguely recognise, who was waiting for his dd to come out with his OH came up to my daughter. He leant over to look her in the eye and rubbed her on the back saying "hello you're my friend." I didn't pay much attention because it made me feel uncomfortable and I was preoccupied with getting my dd's stuff together to leave.

He then did it again, rubbing her back saying "You didn't leave me and [his dd's name] alone. You're my friend'"

He told me he was being a parent helper. It bothered me that he was a bit overly friendly with dd. He didn't have to rub her back. I just smiled and left. I didn't want to be overly friendly.

My questions are:

Would you feel slightly uncomfortable at this?
Do preschool parent helpers have to have a dbs by law?
Would you contact preschool? I don't mean to report the man, as he's done nothing wrong.

Am I being a prat?

CutiePatootie1 Wed 29-Mar-17 13:38:25

That smiley face is meant to read "his dd".

redexpat Wed 29-Mar-17 13:39:10

Tricky. Could be something. Could be nothing. Have a look at nspcc pants campaign.

PaperdollCartoon Wed 29-Mar-17 13:40:20

This is quite odd, does he have special needs.
School helpers only need to be DBSd if they're alone with children at any point, I they're always in the room with the teacher they don't (unless this has changed in the last 2 years since I stopped being in a classroom)

StepPerJogging Wed 29-Mar-17 13:40:54

I wouldn't like that at all and would be concerned for his DD.

Why does he think he can touch your child?

DancingDragon Wed 29-Mar-17 13:44:11

Hmmm I wouldn't feel comfortable with that. I'd have a word with the preschool.

Chillyegg Wed 29-Mar-17 13:44:35

Er i work with kids. Rubbing backs in a mainstream setting is frowned upon... if it made you uncomfortable speak to the teacher

Maudlinmaud Wed 29-Mar-17 13:47:51

It's pretty odd, yes. Maybe he was just being friendly and has no concept of personal space. If you are concerned then speak to the teacher.

PetallyTyrants Wed 29-Mar-17 13:52:32

He could be emulating the behaviour of some of the staff. I wouldn't like it and would ask preschool to remind parent helpers of guidelines.

xStefx Wed 29-Mar-17 13:53:19

Was he definitely a father of one of the children?
I know ill prob get fired at for this but by the words he used could he have special needs by any chance?

Does seem strange

CutiePatootie1 Wed 29-Mar-17 14:22:34

I thought that maybe he had no concept of appropriate boundaries. I don't want to get this poor man in trouble. I've been thinking about moving nurseries for a while so I think this is the final straw due to a few things I haven't been happy about. So I'm going to view a nursery closer to home tomorrow.

I feel bad for moving her for just 1 term but my daughter is resilient.

gillybeanz Wed 29-Mar-17 14:32:32

I'd have asked what he meant, tbh.
Maybe something had happened that your dd hadn't understood and he was reaffirming that she hadn't left them alone, when she thought she had.
Maybe there's an innocent explanation.

greenlipstick Wed 29-Mar-17 21:45:15

I'd be really uncomfortable. More to the point, you DID feel uncomfortable - you have instincts for a reason.

I'd talk to the school.

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