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Married but in love with another man

(6 Posts)
Meandmymini3 Fri 24-Mar-17 17:55:57

I've been with my husband 10 years and we have 3 boys. We have a complicated relationship- we've had issues with DA and SS were involved during my last pregnancy because of this. He has completed a DV perpetrator program (over a year) and is a very different man now although he still has some slightly controlling tendencies on occasion.

I went out with my old work colleagues at the end of my maternity leave to for the leaving do of some colleagues. I met a man who had joined while I was off and we clicked straight away. We have kids the same age and we bonded over the mutual lack of sleep.
Cut a long story short, this man and I started an "emotional affair", Neither of us are willing to upset our families or have a full on affair so we've stopped talking (we'd message every night while putting babies to bed). I've recently returned to work and it's really hard. It physically hurts when I see him and I don't know how to just "get over him". I know part of my attraction to him is based on not being happy in my marriage but I can't get Mr X out of my head!

Help!!!

MommaGee Wed 29-Mar-17 01:53:41

Deal with your marriage. I'd you're unhappy, can you fix it? What is stopping you walking away?

Lisa282820 Mon 10-Apr-17 02:48:30

I really feel for you being unhappy but I also feel sick. If I found my partner putting our baby to bed whilst fully focusing not on our baby but secretly texting another woman I'd be devastated.
You need to sort your marriage out or walk away but you should not even glance at a man who is already taken.

Lisa282820 Mon 10-Apr-17 02:50:52

Well done for cutting it short before it got out of hand but you need to stay strong. It may be wanting what you really can't have/ haven't ever had sort of thing as well.

Mysterycat23 Mon 10-Apr-17 03:08:47

This colleague was messaging you while putting his own baby to bed? His wife just had a child and he's messaging another woman?

Does that alone not put you off OP hmm

LouisevilleLlama Mon 10-Apr-17 03:14:58

Mystery, why would it, she was doing the exact same thing? why would it be worse for him doing it?

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