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Has anyone had to do this?

(17 Posts)
Scooby1Mary Sat 18-Mar-17 13:06:05

Hi, after three long years in and out of court and still continuing it was ruled on Thursday I should wave my 9 year off at my front door and let him walk down the end of our road which we can't see from our house to meet his father. The end of the road is by a busy path way that dog walker use everyday, my Neighbours daughter has recently been flashed at at the same spot.
The father has made false allegations against myself and husband of Assault to which the police didn't take matters further and advise me of putting up cctv outside our house to protect ourselves
And have evidence to show we do don't leave the house at handover. ( this prevent my children know that it's being filmed they thinks it for house security)
I brought up my concerns up in court to the judge that I feel this is unsafe for my son and also leaves me wide open for further more false allegations to the police but feel it to be detrimental to my son mental state me having to hold up my camera on my phone to prove my innocence.
My son is undergoing counselling due to the emotional abuse that he is receiving from his father.
This morning my husband wasn't happy with letting him leave the house on is own so walked him down the road and kept his distance from my sons father.
When my husband returned he was very concerned and upset that my son had to be put through this process as his father was filming them walking down and continued to film until my he was out of sight.
All this was in front of my nine year old Son.
Surly this can't help my son emotionally ?
Has anyone on this site had to go through the same thing with the Their children?

Bluntness100 Sat 18-Mar-17 13:12:54

I don't think any of you are helping your son to be honest. You say he emotionally abuses the child, he says you physically abuse the child, you've all been legally forced not to go near each other. You're all filming each other.

I don't know the rights or wrongs here or who did what, but I do know none of it can be helping your son. It sounds appalling.

BrieAndChilli Sat 18-Mar-17 13:15:22

Is there not a 3rd party that can do hand over? Or do handover at a contact centre??

MissGoggins Sat 18-Mar-17 13:21:44

Why is your husband doing handover? That seems antagonist to me.

Scooby1Mary Sat 18-Mar-17 14:05:19

My husband and I haven't done anything wrong, we have been dragged into this sick process by my children's father, whom I may add I had a very good relationship with when we got divorced, then he met his partner and it all changed....funny though they split up just before Christmas and things went back to normal she did false allegations saying he abused her and my son. which wasn't true!
He's last conversation with me before he got back with her was how things had got better for the children and how much happier they r being with him.
Its only at court as my children don't want to see there father with his partner, they want time on there own with him.
My daughter is 12 and can say she not going and she hasn't seen him since he got back with his partner.
My husband hasn't gone out of his way to Aggravate matters, he wasn't letting a 9 year old walk down to the end of the road on his own when there are woody paths and not far from a meadow and with recent matters of flashers. He didn't approach the car he was at least 30 meters away.

If it ended up letting him go on his own and my sons father was late and someone grab my son I bet your bottom dollars everyone would slate us a parents for letting him go alone.
Can't win can we?
I may add we have never stopped or will ever stop him seeing his children so please don't jump to assumptions on that one either .

Scooby1Mary Sat 18-Mar-17 14:32:19

Oh and bluntness 100,
I think you should read things through fully before commenting on posts!!!
That is my point it's not helping my son so that's why we don't walk around filming things!
Who do you think is support my little boy???
Is mother and step father who has brought him up.

Annesmyth123 Sat 18-Mar-17 14:34:47

I'm confused.

What did the court order say?

Did it say neither of you were to go with the child, you were to let him walk from your door but your husband went anyway and the child's father filmed him doing that?

Scooby1Mary Sat 18-Mar-17 14:50:57

It just says I have to say good bye to him at the door, it doent say my husband can't walk him down.
His barrister did try and get he that he had to walk there on his own.
It is going to be reviewed in 3 months.
It was fine the way we always did it he parked outside and kids went out. We just got on with our good bye and cuddles in doors....but their father just keeps fabricating things up which aren't true and lying to the courts with no evidence at all.
The family court just look at the way forward but how can u go forward if you don't look into what the problem is?
He won't listen to his children, when they try and talk to him he will emotionally abuse them by going on and on at them making them feel back for feeling like that.

Scooby1Mary Sat 18-Mar-17 14:51:18


Annesmyth123 Sat 18-Mar-17 14:53:57

If I was your ex, given it ended in court and the accusations flying around, I would be filming the handover too.

I know that's not what you want to hear.

You'd be better getting someone other than your husband to do the walk down

MissGoggins Sat 18-Mar-17 15:11:40

I understand now why it was husband instead of you, because of the wording of the order. I do agree you should get a third party to do handovers asap.

I can't believe at 9 years old he doesn't even go to the shop without an adult. He never goes out without an adult? It's possible we have different neighbourhoods though.

I have to say, I can't put my finger on it, but something about your attitude towards this doesn't sit well with me.

DementedUnicorn Sat 18-Mar-17 15:56:26

I think you're trying to be a bit of a smart arse about the court order. Common sense would tell you if the handover has been moved from your house to avoid confrontation and you have been told not to go, that would include your husband. I totally get why your ex recorded it.

I'm not sure of the exact terminology but there's something about following the spirit of the law as well as the letter of it is there not? I don't think the judge will look kindly on your interpretation of the order when you return to court.

Falafelings Sat 18-Mar-17 16:05:31

Isn't there a spot outside the house he can wait at? While you both wait inside

1nsanityscatching Sat 18-Mar-17 16:15:42

Couldn't he pull up outside your house and press his hooter and your son go to the car whilst you and dh stay in the house? It must be really difficult for your children being caught in the middle of all this venom.

Annesmyth123 Sat 18-Mar-17 16:16:53

I think they were doing that and for some reason it wasn't working hence it going to court?

I do think the op has gone against the spirit of the order.

MissGoggins Sat 18-Mar-17 16:44:12

DementedUnicorn sums up perfectly what I couldn't put my finger on.

Allthebestnamesareused Thu 23-Mar-17 20:02:17

Can your 12 year old daughter just walk her brother down? Also I assume yiu don't let him actually go until you have had a rect ssyibg tgst he has arrived and is waiting down the lane. If not could this not happen

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