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6 year old hitting friends

(10 Posts)
blueistheonlycolourwefeel Thu 16-Mar-17 21:31:08

My incredibly bright 6 year old is really loving and caring most of the time, BUT is easily frustrated and lashes out at friends.
This week has been particularly bad at school and he's hit at least 3 kids including, I'm ashamed to say, slapping a child round the face.
Do you have a child like this? How do you deal with it? What sanctions do you put in place?

Patriciathestripper1 Thu 16-Mar-17 21:40:51

He will probably stop when one of them turns around and belts him back, which is what Will eventually happen.
school should be dealing with it and keeping him supervised so he can't attack others in his class.
Why is he getting frustrated and what are the triggers? You need to work with the school and find out what's going on.
If he is as 'incredibly bright' as you think he is then a good talking to about boundaries and others personal space might do the trick.
Try doing a star chart and rewards when he walks away instead of hitting.
Learning to count to control anger etc..
there is loads of info on the net to help you cope with it.

blueistheonlycolourwefeel Thu 16-Mar-17 21:57:02

Anything can trigger it! Usually people not doing what he wants!
I don't THINK he's incredibly bright, I've been TOLD he is by numerous teachers and a psychotherapist who assessed him when he was younger as he had some sensory issues at the time which have now resolved.....
I appreciate I can look things up on the net, was hoping for some words of wisdom from you lot. smile

highinthesky Thu 16-Mar-17 22:06:02

Have you asked him why he does it? He's old enough to reason with.

Our LO (2) will suddenly grab long hair out of nowhere but means no harm. And then grab her own to "demonstrate" it doesn't hurt! I bet she's picked it up from nursery.

Wolfiefan Thu 16-Mar-17 22:09:56

He needs an alternative strategy. What can he/would he do instead?

MadderRuse Thu 16-Mar-17 22:10:41

Patriciathestripper's advice is good: help him work out what his triggers are, and reward him when he manages those situations without hitting. Talk to him about why he does it and what it feels like for the kids he hits. Let school know you want to work with them and for ongoing feedback on how he is doing.

blueistheonlycolourwefeel Thu 16-Mar-17 22:12:36

He says he gets angry and frustrated. He is devastated after the event......
We have told him to go and tell the teacher he is feeling angry, to walk away, to stamp his feet....

MegBusset Thu 16-Mar-17 22:13:03

DS1 was a bit like this. What worked for us :

- absolute zero tolerance for any hitting incidents, with a penalty that'll really make him think (for us it was time on the naughty step when he got home and /or loss of screen time, but find your DC's currency and work with that). Agree with teachers that they will let you know every incident and make sure they know you're taking it seriously.

- lots and lots of talk about feelings, what it feels like to be frustrated / angry, and good ways of letting off that emotion, encouraging him to talk about how he felt. Also how he would feel if someone hit him.

- praise and encouragement for any positive/kind behaviour (again ask teachers to back you up with this)

- mostly though, it just took time! DS1 was (still is) incredibly articulate but at that time his verbal maturity was miles ahead of his social/emotional maturity. Now at age 10 he has matured a huge amount and is a thoroughly lovely lad smile

Lowdoorinthewal1 Thu 16-Mar-17 22:18:56

I agree with everything Meg suggests.

There are also social story books that might help. I think there is one called 'Hands Are Not For Hurting' or similar. Read it every day and use it as a platform for discussion about having a 'hands free' day.

Lowdoorinthewal1 Thu 16-Mar-17 22:21:45

Hand Are Not for Hitting

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