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Friends have fallen out - help

(8 Posts)
user9873249875 Mon 06-Mar-17 11:06:02

Two of my friends work together. A is a really good friend of mine. B I know less well but we met up for a few drinks recently as she had been struggling with depression and her marriage is not going well, so have been a bit of a shoulder to cry on.

They've had a row at work which has escalated enormously. From what I can see, B made a mistake and tried to cover herself by blaming A. A showed management some emails making it clear that the mistake was B's. Off the back of this B then accused A and some others in their team of bullying and racial discrimination, but as far as I know this has not been upheld.

A is livid with B's behaviour. And she's my better friend of the two of them.

I can't help worrying about B, though. She's been quite severely depressed and I know her life is not easy at the moment. From what I have heard, she is in the process of a discipliniary over this (the lying and unfounded accusations) and in danger of losing her job. I don't know whether her poor mental health led to what sounds like an escalating set of poor decisions.

If she'd done it to anyone else, I would try to support her because I think we all fuck up sometimes. But I know that A would feel betrayed if she knows that I am offering any support to B, who has basically been a humongous bitch to her.

Is there any way to do right by both of them or do I have to pick a side?

LemonBreeland Mon 06-Mar-17 11:30:06

I think as it's a disciplinary issue you should stay well away from it.

user9873249875 Mon 06-Mar-17 11:41:10

Even though I don't work with them?

Feel like a cow for dropping B when her life is falling to bits. But would feel two-faced if I tried to support them both.

HecateAntaia Mon 06-Mar-17 11:44:01

I would support A while offering sympathy and best wishes to B. A is the victim here and deserving of that recognition. B obviously needs some help and it would be nice of you to wish her well.

MissisBoote Mon 06-Mar-17 11:45:44

Don't pick sides. Just say to both of them if they talk about it that you're aware of what's going on at work, but don't want to be involved in any discussion about it.

DementedUnicorn Mon 06-Mar-17 12:24:25

B sounds dangerous. She has put A through hell at work and is now muscling in on her friends

user9873249875 Mon 06-Mar-17 12:35:40

Dementedunicorn, I have known B for quite a while and was supporting her with her non-work issues long before the fall-out with A.

However, I agree with you that her behaviour is damaging at the moment. Sadly, the person she has damaged the most is likely to be herself. That's why I think she needs support from her friends, despite the fact that she has behaved very badly.

My gut feeling was that I couldn't be a supportive friend to them both. Seems that people generally agree with me. Thank you for your advice so far.

Hoppinggreen Mon 06-Mar-17 14:29:35

Keep well out of it. It's not that 2 of your friends have fallen out it's that a work colleague is facing a very serious allegation and will probably be fired.
You can be sympathetic but it's really not your problem and the sounds of it B might not be there much longer anyway

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