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Advice please

(19 Posts)
user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 15:21:21

Hi I need advice ...I have fallen for someone I work with ...I'm single he isn't ..we started off as friends then got flirty he started texting me it was innocent at first but the last few months he has been drunk texting me and I've allowed myself to fall for him ..he has told me that he used to have a crush now he likes me and fancies me ..nothing has ever happened between us apart from a few hugs ...basically I've spoke to him the other day and he said his relationship has got too comfortable and he thinks about me ..I know he won't leave her as he has said that but I feel stupid for allowing myself to fall for him because now I'm the one hurting

AnyFucker Sun 05-Mar-17 15:25:40

You only have yourself to blame.

Back off. Go no contact. There isn't any other way. Any so-called barriers to doing that are excuses, pure and simple.

troodiedoo Sun 05-Mar-17 15:27:52

I think you know the answer to this. Run a mile. You'll end up worse off and more hurt. Of course forbidden fruit is tempting but you're not a dog on heat, take back control and stay away from him.

MoveOnTheCards Sun 05-Mar-17 15:28:55

Back off. Delete his details/block him if you need to.

user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 15:34:22

You can't help your feelings so I don't have myself to blame at all ..he is the one who texts me ..flirts with me etc

AnyFucker Sun 05-Mar-17 15:35:44

Give over smile

user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 15:36:18


troodiedoo Sun 05-Mar-17 15:38:42

You can't help your feelings but you can help whether you act on them. If you want to be a side ho then go for it, but be prepared for it to get messy and to feel like shit and everyone in your workplace thinking you're a skank.

garlicandsapphire Sun 05-Mar-17 15:39:53

He's a sleaze. You deserve better. Like someone single for starters?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sun 05-Mar-17 15:40:15

I agree you can't help your feelings.
But acting on them or not is in your contol.
You are worth more than being a man's second choice.

user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 15:44:04

I would never ever act on them ...I would feel horrible and I'm not like that at all ...

user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 15:45:19

And would people read my original post I never said I would act on them ..I'm saying I'm hurt because I've allowed myself to develop feelings ...

Gazelda Sun 05-Mar-17 15:51:13

You should have nipped this in the bud as soon as the drunk texts started. Because you didn't, you have to accept responsibility for how things have developed.
You asked WWYD - others have told you to cut contact, block his number. I can't see how you could have expected any other answer from MN?

user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 16:02:38

I never replied to his drunk texts though only thing I replied to were things about work that's all ...I have kept it all to myself so I nipped it in the bud straight away

user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 16:03:20

So please don't judge me I'm not a horrible person

troodiedoo Sun 05-Mar-17 16:06:54

I and I'm sure others get the feeling that you are in danger of acting on it, that's all

In any case, the advice is the same: cold turkey. Maybe look for some fun activities outside of work to take your mind off him. In a few weeks or months you'll wonder what on earth you saw in him.

AnyFucker Sun 05-Mar-17 16:07:32

We weren't born yesterday. You are having an emotional affair with a man in a relationship. Own it at least.

user1488726663 Sun 05-Mar-17 16:09:58

Thanks trudge that's what I'm going to do ...and I was emotional affair he knows nothing about my feelings

MoveOnTheCards Sun 05-Mar-17 21:21:16

Is sounds from your first post that you've at least had conversations with him about 'your relationship' (whatever you think/claim that currently is). Walk away now.

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