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Second child different dad.....another mistake

(7 Posts)
LauraJ17 Mon 06-Feb-17 22:06:20

Hi mums,

I just need someone's advice and comfort. My first son is 4 and never knew his biological dad as he didn't want to be in his life. I met a man 8 months after splitting up and introduced him to my son 5 months later. After a year and a half 2 years he started calling him daddy without any force.

Anyway this daddy we were so happy then he became paranoid and such a hypocrite like who is this liking your picture when he would have 50 random girls liking his etc anyway we would argue then work it out then I started thinking maybe this isn't right.

Anyway after a struggle of ups and downs with him I walked away which was hard as we have such a strong connection but the way he was snapping at me etc got to much and I had put up with a lot. After 8-9 months of him trying to come back he finally admitted he was taking an antidepressant to calm his emotions and stresses which I wasn't to sure on at first but instantly could see a difference I was no longer walking on egg shells etc.

Anyway we decieded to give it one last go and I fall pregnant....confused

I am now 26 weeks and have had an on and off moments where he has been just randomly telling me to f*off then he doesn't apologise then we don't speak then he makes up the next day.

Anyway I told him this was absolutely inappropriate and I wouldn't put up with it and that was that for a while.

Then my intuition I don't know if it's that plus hormones but I just felt him being so distant with me and it instantly got me on edge. I pulled him about it and said how I feel so alone (after I got back with my partner my best friend deserted me as I had made the choice to take him back) anyway he said I'm 100% behind you, I felt at ease then noticed he liked this attractive looking woman's post and instantly I lost my calm he came in and I questioned his intentions......his response was "who's that I haven't been on 'x' in a month" it was a week lies instantly which makes me even more paranoid and he said "I'm sick of this" and I said that I was also sick of feeling on edge etc etc when only the other night he kicked off because I posted a selfie video on snapchat just out of boredom I had zero makeup on and it was a silly filter. But it's wrong of me to question his viewable intentions.

Anyway it just snowballed he packed all his things and left (he doesn't permanently live with me so it's mainly clothes etc) and started saying I was a psycho and that I won't make him feel that way and how he wish he had a fresh start with someone else....confirming in my mind well he must be talking to someone to say that.

Anyway he left im pregnant with his child thinking why have I put myself in such a rediculous situation with 2 children 2 different biological fathers and I'm single. I'm so frustrated with myself sad x

StealthPolarBear Mon 06-Feb-17 22:08:44

I'm sorry. No need to be cross with yourself just channel it into looking after yourself and your children. Do you have support?
A lot of your life and relationships seems to revolve around social media. I'm going to hazard a guess that it's not healthy.

StealthPolarBear Mon 06-Feb-17 22:09:06

How old are you?

gamerchick Mon 06-Feb-17 22:21:50

Where is your 4 yr old while you both argue about likes on social media?

Keep him out, concentrate on yourself and your babies. This man is no good for you.

LauraJ17 Mon 06-Feb-17 22:40:36

I'm 29 my son is always in bed. I know your absolutely right. Social media is the Bain of my life really. I just hate how he can be a hypocrite, but as soon as I point it out to him he will over react.

He said when it all blew up before "is it because I'm too good and everyone finds me attractive" he works in a gym and does personal training if that paints a picture. It's hard because he has such good moments but a lot of the time He makes me out to be this immature psychotic person when I'm not. I just want a healthy happy family and he just thinks everyone is against him. It's hard work

Foldedtshirt Mon 06-Feb-17 22:44:47

Onwards and upwards Lauraflowers enjoy your babies and don't rush into another relationship. You're still young- concentrate on them for a bit now and in a few years time use this experience to find a better partner.

LauraJ17 Mon 06-Feb-17 23:01:54

Thankyou foldedtshirt I absolutely do it's just so scary to think I'm going to have to have the rest of this pregnancy on my own while working, college and being a single parent. I know I am strong but it scares me.

I just know the person that I have seen lately is the old person the one as why we broke up originally so I know nothing will change. He called me a "smug cu**" so I started writing things in my notepad to help me remember as to why and what he says as to not make me sound crazy and he said "your just sneaky is that so you can give it to the solicitor so I can't see my son?" He said "well done the baby isn't even born yet and you have messed it up" saying he was outside booking a dinner table for valentines night ....I honestly think it's all lies as he's said stuff like that before so silly I'm sick of being blinded by him

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