Very sensitive(8 Posts)
Please help. I am beside myself. I have discovered that my 8 year old son has seen explicit material. He is such a good kind sensitive soul and im devestated this has happened. We have chatted about what he saw and I have tried to explain the best i could about what a loving adult relationship really looks like and that what he saw was not realistic. We discussed how we shouldnt look at people in that way
Ive assured him he has nothing to be ashamed of but i feel my baby has had his innocence stolen and I dont know what to do. Has anyone had experience of this and can help advise what I do next? Thanks
Sounds like you've covered everything tbh.
If he has any questions make sure you're open to answer them.
How did he see it?
You need to check all the/I pad/phone etc settings to make sure it won't happen again
How did he see this material? I think it's potentially more concerning if he sought it out - that would suggest that there are influences that you're not yet aware of.
Agree with MyDS that you've covered the main points, probably worth keeping an eye on things though. At the same time don't make it an issue - he's no doubt got a range of interests and activities that keep him occupied and will move him on from it quickly. You don't say whether this was online or some other format, but if it's online, have a look at your internet provider's parental controls settings - I have BT internet at home, and can easily block a wide range of content to reduce the likelihood of my 3 boys accessing anything inappropriate, not just of a sexual nature. The eldest two are getting to an age where they will be wanting to know more about things, and I do my best to create an open environment where they can talk about things without embarrassment, and I know they've had talks in school from the police and school nurse too, with more to come. Sadly childhood innocence seems to be eroded more and more these days - finding a balance between educating and informing whilst protecting that too is a tricky one!
He doesnt really use our ipad and that has all relevant settings on. He was in the front room with us doing some homework on my laptop. I believed I had secured everything. He was innocently searching for something and was shown a picture of a naked woman. He basically said he was curious about what he saw and so searched for 'naked ladies'. He did this with us in the room so I believe it was innocent and curiosity. It appears he clicked on a link that showed him more images. He also made some excuse to get me to search the laptop so I feel he wanted me to know. This all happened in ten minutes while I was on another sofa. I cant quite believe it. He is so young that despite my best efforts Im concerned how this might effect him and wonder if i need to do anything else.
Natural curiosity by the sounds of it more than anything else, and probably nothing to worry about. My boys have no concept of privacy and have all blundered into the bathroom whilst I'm in the shower.....! I don't think there's any need to worry unless it becomes regular or he tries to hide it from you. On the flip side, many sculptures and famous artworks feature naked ladies, though I appreciate that they don't of course feature the kind of content you referred to earlier.
Keep a quiet watchful eye, but honestly, I don't think it's anything to worry about.
I would think this is less damaging than if he were eleven. Don't sweat it. H
Thanks all. Just feeling like the worst parent alive at the moment. MissMrsMsXX why do you think its less damaging then if he was 11? Do you thinks its better that he didnt really understand what he was seeing? Really didnt think Id be having these worries so soon!
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