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To date or not to date

(5 Posts)
HusbandNumber1 Sun 29-Jan-17 08:02:27

Say you had a husband/wife who was severely disabled and not aware of their surroundings. Long term.

Would you start dating, even though you're still married?

Personally I'm not and am putting up with the fact I have none of the advantages of being married allied with none of the advantages of being single. But more than one sane, rational friend has said I need a woman in my life and should start dating.

But what would you do?

HappyVampire3 Sun 29-Jan-17 21:42:10

Did you ever talk about this before your partner became severely disabled (assuming they had an event happen to them that disabled them like an accident etc.)?

This thread has more advice:

www.whattoexpect.com/forums/hot-topics-1/topic/dating-when-spouse-is-incapacitated.html?page=2

HusbandNumber1 Tue 31-Jan-17 08:35:24

No, no discussion. That thread covers the situation and options perfectly. Thanks for the link.

curlii103 Wed 01-Feb-17 09:03:11

For what it's worth I think you're entitled to be happy. I think I'd want my oh to move on. Sounds tough x

HusbandNumber1 Wed 01-Feb-17 10:33:31

Things are so much easier when you can say 'I'm the husband' - doors open and things just happen. Saying 'I'm just a friend' makes getting stuff done so much harder.

So that means you get none of the additional advantages of being married, like a partner to do stuff with but the obligation to stay and help, allied with the guilt of cheating if you opt for the 'single life' if almost overwhelming

It's all very well saying 'oh I'd never do that' but when the situation continues for perhaps decades the world changes from black and white to something greyer.

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