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(4 Posts)
user1484937392 Fri 20-Jan-17 19:14:15

I have a life. I am happy to mind my own business. I'm not a busybody or a nosey person. I have enough shit going on in my life that I don't need to get myself involved with someone else. but
There's this girl I know. She has 4 DD. 6,5,3 & 4 months. Now, everyday dd has a problem. Dd1 has apparent "heart defects, was given a week to live, ADHD and autism" dd2 has "seizures, glaucoma and ADHD and autism" dd3 has "ADHD, autism and bad hips and legs" Now Dd4 was "rushed" into hospital urgently today because her arm went blue. She has had heart monitored, ecg to check her heart chambers and now needs constant visits at home and an appointment at GOSH because there could be a bad heart defect.
Every dd has been CLEARED and there is nothing wrong with them (it's frustrating mum as she NEEDS something to be wrong!) Im worried now. Has she hurt dd4? Why can't she be happy that her Dd's are healthy?! I want to call someone. But who? Should I? Everyday in Facebook she posts a new thing about her dds being ill or her and it's getting worse. what would you do?

UnmentionedElephantDildo Sat 21-Jan-17 12:31:17

If she's still a girl, then even if you extend the normal meaning of female child into early 20s, she is a young mother with a large family.

If there is a pattern of weird engagement with the NHS, it will be picked up on, so you need do nothing about that.

If she just likes to talk up events in her life, again you need do nothing (one person's 'rushed' is another person's 'we went straight there')

The other possibility is that she is struggling and that her accounts are untrue but show she's not coping.

Are there any ways in which you can support her? It sounds not.

Unless you think that relevant HCPs are not engaged, then I don't think there's anything else you can do.

Thinkingofausername1 Mon 23-Jan-17 09:51:17

I think you need to have more sympathy. She sounds like she has alot on her plate and doesn't need people interfering. She is clearly worried and maybe you could be a friend instead of judging her Facebook

ohtheholidays Fri 10-Feb-17 08:33:53

Your obviously worried about her and her DC and so would I be.

There is either something wrong with all of her DC and they need the appropriate help from her GP and they're local hospital and the Mum needs support or there isn't anything wrong with her DC and the Mum needs help with her MH and the local authorities need to be involved for the sake of the children's safety.

Give the NSPCC a ring OP they're really good and if you tell them what you've told us they'll decide if the family needs help(I think they probably do)and they can get directly intouch with the school/GP/SS which ever they think is needed.

I have a close friend that is the same,thankfully the constant ill health/needing to go to hospital and the Dr's is all about her own health and nothing to do with her 2DC,it's still very sad to watch though but it's alot harder to get someone help when it's for an adult and it doesn't directly involve they're DC.

It's good that you care enough that you want to get them some help,so many people ignore any warning signs that something's not right and then that is sadly when children that need real help get missed.

For context I used to work with schools and SS and this is something we'd have been concerned about.

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