Talk

Advanced search

Bridesmaid dilemma

(21 Posts)
maryellie Wed 18-Jan-17 21:42:45

Long story short, got engaged, chose my bridesmaids. Then my step niece who I rarely see or talk to asks why she isn't a bridesmaid over dinner in front of all the family, and i I tried to think quick and said I can't afford it so she said okay, I'll pay for myself?! It's getting to me more and more the closer we get to the wedding?! What can I do confused

OlennasWimple Wed 18-Jan-17 21:46:11

Say to her "I only wanted X number of bridesmaids, and I've chosen them already. There are lots of people who I couldn't ask who I would have loved to have been a bridesmaid, but unfortunately I had to draw the line somewhere. We are looking forward to having all our friends and family with us to help celebrate the day, though"

maryellie Wed 18-Jan-17 21:53:38

She has already invited and involved herself in my hen do and my sister isn't helping.. overly nice and including her in everything even when I say not too! Also I have a fear her parents would be really annoyed and not come to the wedding. Am I being selfish?

Foldedtshirt Wed 18-Jan-17 21:57:01

Why don't you want her?

maryellie Wed 18-Jan-17 22:05:17

She isn't a very nice person and I would consider her as a close friend or family member... when I've visioned my wedding she just wasn't in it

maryellie Wed 18-Jan-17 22:05:37

Wouldnt*

TallulahtheTiger Wed 18-Jan-17 22:07:03

OP has said * my step niece who I rarely see or talk to* just tell her things are all ready organised. Not that it matters how old is she?

TallulahtheTiger Wed 18-Jan-17 22:07:23

Bold fail!!

maryellie Wed 18-Jan-17 22:22:34

She is 18, what do you mean by bold fail?

AstridLevinson Wed 18-Jan-17 23:33:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeddaGarbled Wed 18-Jan-17 23:42:53

What did you say after she said, OK, I'll pay for myself? If you said OK then, you've agreed and if you've now changed your mind you will have to tell her so and there will be fall out. How near is the wedding? If it's near and bridesmaid dresses are bought, I think it's too late to sack her.

If you didn't agree at the time, you haven't bought the bridesmaid dresses and the wedding is a good way off, then you need to be brave and just tell her straight and any argument she comes back with just keep going saying no so that when the conversation is finished she is in no doubt that she is not going to be your bridesmaid.

OlennasWimple Thu 19-Jan-17 08:10:22

Well, you need to have a think about what is worse: involving her and the wedding not being as envisioned, or not involving her and having a family fall-out as a result?

Could you give her another job (doing a reading, signing the register...) that isn't as prominent as bridesmaid, but still part of the wedding?

Twooter Thu 19-Jan-17 08:13:01

When you say step-niece, do you mean sisters stepdaughter?

Twooter Thu 19-Jan-17 08:14:02

She's an adult, you're not close, just tell her you've already chosen who you're having.

GinIsIn Thu 19-Jan-17 08:15:22

Just say no, sorry - you've already chosen the people you want.

northernmonkey1010 Thu 19-Jan-17 20:37:37

Is it because she's prettier than you?

TheDuckSaysMoo Thu 19-Jan-17 20:40:56

"Bold fail" was because tallulah tried to make the quote she posted to appear in bold by she failed. * fail * instead of fail

TheDuckSaysMoo Thu 19-Jan-17 20:42:13

but not by

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Thu 19-Jan-17 21:07:23

Yes I am a bit confused by the term step-niece too.

rollonthesummer Thu 19-Jan-17 21:13:10

What did you reply when she said she'd pay for herself...?

northernmonkey1010 Thu 19-Jan-17 21:18:35

She's either your niece or your sisters step daughter no such thing as a step niece.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now