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Child has invited themselves to DD birthday party

(48 Posts)
happybeeisgoingcrazy Thu 12-Jan-17 20:55:42

My DD is having a birthday party. It's a very "girly" party and when we asked who she wanted to invite she gave us a list of girls names. Because of the type of party we needed numbers by 8pm last night. It's not one that I could just squeeze someone in if they turned up without RSVP and this was made clear on the invitation. Of the 10 invitations that went out we had 9 RSVP and numbers were booked. At 9am this morning I got a text say A CHILD will be attending. A CHILD was not on our list and DD is adamant she never gave him an invitation. Everything is booked and I can't squeeze him in even if I wanted to. I don't know what to do. I have visions of this poor little boy turning up and me having to turn him away or have him stay and realising that it's all nail polish and make up. How do I word it so as not to offend. His mother has been known to play the race card every time her child is not included in things. What would you do?

TheSpottedZebra Thu 12-Jan-17 20:57:04

The race card? Ooh, tell us more about that...

mya83 Thu 12-Jan-17 20:58:07


happybeeisgoingcrazy Thu 12-Jan-17 21:00:41

Her child was not invited to another child's part last year and told the whole playground that it was because of her race. She also told the whole playground the head teacher is racist for not allowing her DS to attend an even despite the fact he was not in that year group.

Japonicathehorseygirl Thu 12-Jan-17 21:01:55

Just text back saying you got the text but assume that she had sent it to you by mistake and that it was intended for someone else

happybeeisgoingcrazy Thu 12-Jan-17 21:01:56

Sorry that should be event.

Finola1step Thu 12-Jan-17 21:02:55

Reply to text "I'm so sorry if there has been any confusion. I sent out invites to a small group of girls and everything is all booked, with no spare places. I think the kids have been talking about it at school and have got a bit confused. It is lovely that dd and your ds have become friends, we would love to have him over for a play date. I hope he's not too disappointed about the party. Many thanks. Happybee"

d270r0 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:03:12

I would just speak to the mother and tell her about this girly party and what they will be doing. Tell her hes welcome to go if he wants but it will all be girls doing make up etc., thats why no boys were originally invited.

Floralnomad Thu 12-Jan-17 21:03:25

Can't see what the problem is ,just text her back and say he must have got the invite by mistake as its a girls only make up / nail party .

ToastieRoastie Thu 12-Jan-17 21:04:09

Agree with Japonica. Just send a text saying sorry I think this text has come to me in error, have a nice evening

Japonicathehorseygirl Thu 12-Jan-17 21:05:56

D270 r0 why say it's ok for him to attend? Either the mum has made a genuine mistake or is try to gate crash

shouldwestayorshouldwego Thu 12-Jan-17 21:08:50

I can't imagine many people in the playground will be terribly interested in what she has to say.

You could say 'Oh it is just a small party for minihappybee this year and there is no space for Child A. Lovely to hear that he loves make up and glitter parties though. I will send you the organisers name in case you want one for his birthday.'

I would probably not have the guts to send it though!!!

Yoarchie Thu 12-Jan-17 21:10:11

Hello child's mum, I think there have been some crossed wires - dd's party is makeup and nail varnish and we sent invitations to a few girls. I'm not sure what dd has said to your ds but each girl has a place with the host booked and we aren't able to accommodate any more. Sorry perhaps we can meet up for a play date next week instead? Op

d270r0 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:15:30

Hmmm, I suppose thats just what I would say while at the same time making apparent that it isn't- as in "He can attend if he really wants but its really a very girly party, they'll be doing very girly things and he'd feel out of place". Then you don't seem rude, its the mother that makes the decision that he doesn't go, and theres no way she can 'play the race card'. But yes, I suppose it could go wrong and she'd still let him go.

FannyUmbongo Thu 12-Jan-17 21:46:52

"Hi, not sure how the confusion has occurred but x wasn't invited to the party, only a few can come and dd has chosen all girls this time"

Pringle2628 Thu 12-Jan-17 22:14:50

I don't think it's a problem if you just say exactly what it is and that there simply wasn't enough places to invite everyone so another 20 kids in the class are also not attending.

lougle Thu 12-Jan-17 22:34:46

I think you'll just have to be brave and contact the Mum. Explain that there must be some misunderstanding, because you only had room for 10 children at this particular party and that all the spaces are booked. Unfortunately, you can't accommodate her DS.

HunterHearstHelmsley Thu 12-Jan-17 22:37:57

I'd just respond and say "I'm sorry I think you have the wrong person". He's not invited so it must be a mix up. People don't invite their child like this!

WatchingFromTheWings Thu 12-Jan-17 22:43:52

"Hi, not sure how the confusion has occurred but x wasn't invited to the party, only a few can come and dd has chosen all girls this time"

This reply is perfect IMO.

FlibbertigibbetArmadillo Thu 12-Jan-17 23:01:28

The fact he is a boy and it is a 'girly' party isn't relevant though is it.
He hasn't been invited and there is no space, so just text back and say that.

BertrandRussell Thu 12-Jan-17 23:05:03

The race card?

Oh, didn't you know? You are actually obliged by law to invite any non white child in the class to your child's party, even if they don't know or like them. It's something to do with the EU. Thank goodness Brexit will put an end to all that rubbish.

ToastieRoastie Thu 12-Jan-17 23:14:41

That's quite offensive Bertrand if you actually believe it hmm

SoFedUpOfPeople Thu 12-Jan-17 23:17:39

I agree a text is best now rather than turning him away on the day

CwtchMawr Thu 12-Jan-17 23:19:15

It's bizarre, how does the mum have your mobile number and know where and when the party is?

Earlgreywithmilk Thu 12-Jan-17 23:22:40

Bertrand grin

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