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Lost faith in DH

(4 Posts)
stinkypjs Fri 30-Dec-16 22:10:08

Name change. So it transpires that my DH has majorly cocked up, lied to both me and his company, and his company have sacked him as a result (didn't steal or anything but pulled sickies, in order to find another job as he suspected he was about to lose his job, or so he claims). I've had enough - I kid not, more than 10 jobs in 10 years. He can't keep a job! He's had two he was actually good at and he voluntarily left them! (even though I didn't approve). And it's always lies, lies, lies. Two days before he pulled the sickie, I told him he had to man up and start being a proper role model for his children in respect of work. We have 2 DC, 6 and 4. I work fulltime but we do need another salary, especially as we haven't been able to buy a house yet. I have been offered a job in my home country - better money, but the housing prices are higher. I wouldn't stop DH from coming, if he wants to (presumably), but am concerned about the cost of living being higher there as it puts me under great pressure as the sole stable income earner. The job is new role - so there is a chance that it might not work out, but I think it would be OK. Issue is, the other country does not recognise and value my industry as much as UK. There are not as many jobs and the pay fluctuates wildly. As much as I am not earning a fortune in UK, there is a robust marketplace and seems to be more work available. But, I think I have lost the will with DH (if money was no object and we had a home, I would be considering divorce but we do not have enough money to run two homes - another thread...). The main 'pro' of the home country would be I would have some family around - but apart from some potential babysitting I am not sure what support they would offer me anyway as we are not super close. I do not really have a strong network here - school mum acquaintances only really. NC with DH's family as they are even more fucked up and toxic. Stay in UK with better work prospects but no family help or move to other country with family and take my chances on job? Sorry, this is a bit of a saga....

stinkypjs Fri 30-Dec-16 22:33:29

Sorry, that sounds really selfish 'what my family would offer me'. Obviously it would be great to see them regularly but we are not that close - I suspect the family gets together about 4 times a year. I do think they would enjoy having the DC around though.

stinkypjs Sat 31-Dec-16 12:06:51


Farmmummy Sat 07-Jan-17 22:59:41

Sorry it seems you are having a horrible time! It seems like you really don't feel like you have much left with your DH and if that is the case it's a matter of weighing up would life be better for you and your DC in your home country? Is he a good father in terms of being involved or is he more hands off? If that was the case and you felt that you might have more family support and a higher income then you would be better off going but if he is a hands on Dad it makes it more difficult

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