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Volunteer or go back to work?

(6 Posts)
Nanananananagigglebiz Tue 22-Nov-16 18:35:24

I am lucky enough to be able to stay at home with the kids and I don't HAVE to go to work. Sometimes though, I get bored with the monotony of the day to day washing, dishes, nappies.
My eldest is now in school and my toddler is with me most of the time. Toddler goes to nursery a few hours a week but I feel so guilty leaving said toddler even for a few hours. I know how lucky I am but I feel I need a bit of me back.
It is very tricky though as hubby is a partner in a firm and he is the earner. I wouldn't earn much. We don't have family nearby. What should I do?

Nanananananagigglebiz Thu 24-Nov-16 14:14:56


Allthebestnamesareused Sat 26-Nov-16 14:45:18

I would still just do voluntary work if financially you can afford to with a view to getting a pt job when the kids are older. That gives you more flexibility while they are young re school hols etc

FATEdestiny Sat 26-Nov-16 15:06:33

I've been a SAHM for 10 years now, a secondary school teacher before.

I can understand those who say they'd get bored at home. So would I if all I did was "stay at home".

Yes to volunteering.

Also - have you thought about starting a new business?

I volunteer in loads of different capacities, all that suit my skills. I am currently:
- brownie leader
- girlguiding administrator on a county level (computer based role)
- Fundraising committee for our local Scouts.
- Community governor at a primary school
- Parent governor at a secondary academy
- I ran a local baby and toddler group for 6 years. Now I am "tea and toast" in the kitchen at the same group.
- set up a school toddler group (left it to someone else to run)
- I am on the board for a local charity run building
- I am on the committee forctge local community action group
- I read with children at primary school
- I go on school trips as an extra adult
- I occasionally help at galas for our local swimming club.

There are tons of voluentry roles out there if you go and look for them. I couldn't do so this without a supportive husband though!

But my main reason for posting is to recommend s5arting a business. Especially so if you dont financially need the money because this takes all the pressures off making a load loss in the first year or so.

I started a business (in an area I know nothing about, I should add. But I chanced upon a gap in the market) while on maternity leave with DC2. I handed my notice in at work after maternity and in the following 10 years have had 2 mire children. DC4 is 2 years old.

I have my own business that importantly keeps me mentally stimulated. However I deliberately keep it small (about 15k pa after tax) because I need to be able to work aronnd my children. So I currently "work" about 2 or 3 hours a day - during the toddlers lunchtime nap mostly, sometimes an hour in the evening too.

I know I could grow the business signif8cantly. But I don't want to. I want to be a SAHM but not a bored SAHM. So really what I earn isn't too significant (although very useful!) It's more about challenging myself and maintaining a presence in the grown-up business world. But doing that while also singing songs with the toddler, painting with the 7yo, taking 10yo to the skate park and talking the 12yo pit of wearing too much make up. lol

I love my work / life balance.

Nanananananagigglebiz Sun 27-Nov-16 16:09:56

Hello, thanks for your replies! I'm interested in social care so could possibly volunteer in that area and yes there are lots of opportunities out there I think I'm just a bit nervous about taking the plunge. I'm not sure a business is for me really but I have thought about it in the past. What business are you in FATEdestiny?
My mum is in a nursing home and I have small children so maybe having a paid job is not the best thing at present if I don't need the money. Maybe in the new year I can really start to get involved in more things.

HeddaGarbled Mon 28-Nov-16 21:44:46

I do think that relationships can become very unequal when one of the couple is a high earner and the other has no income at all. You only have to read the relationship board on here to see how many women are left up shit creek without a paddle by husbands who leave them in middle age, or who are not respected as equal partners in the marriage.

Now, I'm not suggesting at all that your H is that sort of a man but I do think, for your own sense of yourself as an independent woman, you should take steps as soon as practical to get back into paid work.

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