Don't know what to do(2 Posts)
Me and my partner are going through a particularly rough patch atm. In fact I would probably go as far as saying I hate him. We have 4 children's together the youngest being only 12 weeks and I am battling pnd.
He is so unsupportive doesn't help with the children refusing to interact with them on a basic level, doesnt do anything around the house but the one thing he does do is work, a lot. He brings in a good wage so we are comfortable (with a small amount of housing benefit).
The biggest problem in our relationship and the thing making me most unhappy is his lack of respect for my body and my right to say no. He regularly touches me in places I don't want him to and I ask him to stop and he keeps doing it until I shout for him to stop. He will then go in a mood and refuse to do anything for me or the kids to punish me for it.
He pesters several times a day for sex and uses it against me if I won't. I really hate sex I dread having It with him I cannot bare any foreplay I literally just want it over with that's how bad things have got.
He refuses to listen how bad things are and doesn't realise that this is abuse...which I think it is. He makes me feel so bad all the time.
I want to leave but can't I have no friends or family around and he won't move out of the family home, I have no money saved up and to make matters worse with the new benefit cap of £380 a week it has affectively trapped me in this miserable abusive relationship until my children are a bit older and I can find work as it would be impossible to get by on that with 4 kids. 😭
First things first, yes this is abuse and you don't deserve in any way to be treated this way. You need to know that you're not doing anything wrong in this situation and are absolutely not to blame.
I get that you're feeling a little stuck and that you have no options but you do. When he's at work and you have 5 minutes alone make sure you get some advice on how you can help yourself. In this situation him not moving out isn't a reason that this needs to continue. You need to put yourself and your little ones first, which you totally have the ability and courage to do, you just don't realise it right now. Good luck!
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