Husband does sweet FA ??

(11 Posts)
Hamster2015 Fri 11-Nov-16 18:30:31

I have a 14 month old Ds and partner and I run two business one of which is a pub . I do all the books admin etc whilst DS is asleep and work one evening a week in bar once DS is asleep . Husband is out pretty much 8 till 4 ish monday to Fri working on other business whilst I have DS . Problem is he says DS is my job so I do everything 7 days a week 24 hours a day all meals all washing cleaning childcare bath time .everything including weekends I haven't had a full night sleep in 14 months as husband has never got up once in the night and I'm absolutely exhausted as when DS rarely naps I run around doing paperwork for businesses or cleaning etc . What's really annoying me is husband seems to think it's his right not to do any domestic duties and particularly as soon as he gets home sits in the bar with friends drinking to all hours basically ignoring me and DS he says this is ok as "he works hard all week and brings the money in". I agree in some respects but I have no family where I am , I don't get a break till DS in bed and even then I'm catching up on stuff till he wakes again . I don't get to socialise at all and I feel like I'm running on empty .....what do I do ??

chipsandgin Fri 11-Nov-16 18:36:14

" Problem is he says DS is my job"

So what exactly is the point of him then, sperm donor and onlooker to you being a parent? You run a business and bring up your child, you are essentially a single mum with the added inconvenience of a massive bellend of a partner. Why are you with him? (please don't say 'because he is an amazing dad'..<jaded>)

"he works hard all week and brings the money in"

chipsandgin Fri 11-Nov-16 18:36:56

also previous statement - how is that true if you are running the pub?

Creatureofthenight Fri 11-Nov-16 18:40:56

Sorry if this is insensitive, did DH actively want children? I can't understand why he would not want to spend any time with his son.
Does DH work weekends? Does he help out then?

Hamster2015 Fri 11-Nov-16 21:01:23

He works occasion weekends . No he doesn't help out then either sadly . I can't understand it either he probably has contact with him about 15 minutes a day and then it's all kisses etc before DS is handed back to me . We have 3 other children between us from previous marriages who are grown up and my son a teenager . He was the one who particularly wanted this happy surprise ! I have shouted , discussed etc but it always falls on deaf ears . I just don't know what to do .

Creatureofthenight Fri 11-Nov-16 22:04:19

Do other children live with you?

Hamster2015 Fri 11-Nov-16 22:17:26

No it's just me , DS and husband .

Creatureofthenight Fri 11-Nov-16 23:11:20

Stop doing any of his laundry, cooking etc. for starters then.

Softkitty2 Sat 12-Nov-16 14:07:01

You have let him get away with it for this long thats why he doesnt bother. TELL him he needs to help you at weekends and your son is both your responsibility, nothing stopping him from doing nighttime routine to help you out or take your son out for a few hours at weekends so you can do what you want to do.

No excuse for any able bodied man to not help around the house regardless if they have a full time job or not.

JellyBelli Sat 12-Nov-16 16:22:09

Ban him from the pub. Thats why he married you.

Pallisers Sat 12-Nov-16 16:27:25

" Problem is he says DS is my job"

So say it back to him. Get up tomorrow morning. Say to your husband "DS is your job" and walk out the door. Just go. Take your older son with you.

Then on Monday at 4 when he gets in, walk out the door again. Go off and do your admin somewhere else - in starbucks or whatever.

if you are lucky, her will realise how selfish he has been and change.

I doubt it though.

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