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12 year old son is getting into lots of trouble

(3 Posts)
HowTheFuckDoIDoThis Mon 07-Nov-16 16:15:57

So my loving boy who was very much a people pleaser is turning into what i can only describe as thuggish.
I am getting messages daily from the school saying he has detention.

His behaviour is very risky - climbing onto peoples properties, staying out later than he is allowed, cheeky to everyone, verbally abusive etc. Etc.
His reasons behind this are "i dont care" he believes he will not get caught off the police.

He tried intervening in my parenting of my younger two sons and i told him tonstop, as he was undermining me and had no actual clue as to what was really going on. Because i told him off he went on to tell me i was unfair at how i was treating his brothers and swore at me a few times. The consequence was internet removal.

I now know that when he gets in from playing out (grounding isnt even worth going for at the minute with how he is), all hell will break loose due to lack of internet.

I really dont know how to handle it. Ive tried having a quiet word, i have tried speaking with the school. He had a therapist in primary school due to risky behaviour.

This is where he lives and that is it - he doesnt think any rule applies to him and will use what i describe as bullying behaviour if i put a consequence in place. I dont give in - but this doesnt deter him from the same kind of behaviour next time i use a consequence.

All i can see is something bad is going to happen before he snaps out of this god awful place he is in right now.

His brother(a) had sat down without taking shoes and coat off like i asked. Other brother(b) had done all of this and went and sat where brother(a) had first sat. Brother(a) went mad claiming it was his seat - still with shoes and coat on.
I said "had you of had your shoes and coat off, you could have been sat there only you didnt do what was asked of you and now brother(b) is in that seat".

That simple littler bickerment resulted in me being called a prick, told to feck off and all sorts by my 12 year old who wasnt even in the room to begin with. To top it off, brother(a) didnt even want the seat - he wanted the cushion which brother(b) happily handed to him.

bedouincheek Tue 08-Nov-16 01:46:22

Can't read and run. Hopefully this will bump.

Do you have any other support from family? It sounds as though you need this before 12 becomes 16.
I can't offer any constructive advice I'm afraid. I hope someone can tell you where to turn to get some support. There are definitely others in your situation out there though. chocolateflowers

HowTheFuckDoIDoThis Tue 08-Nov-16 09:55:13

Thank you.

No i dont really have any family support.
I had words with him last night. We talked about respect, trust and expectations etc. He seemed to understand what i was saying and he looked as though he felt bad about it all. He said he was sorry.

I guess I can only hope he listens and learns from it.

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