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Am I over reacting???

(4 Posts)
Samsmart Sun 06-Nov-16 11:43:11

Hey I need to know if I am over reacting and being unreasonable?? My husband has his work Xmas do next weekend and I have just discovered he has been sending flirty messages very flirty messages to her about how gorgeous she is and when the go out he's gonna have the best looking date!! I have confronted him about it and he Insists they are just good friends and get on really well 🤔. I know for a fact that last time they went out they had their hands all over each other flirting and messing about again he is adamant that it was all harmless and joking. It's breaking me to think that he can act like that with another woman friends or not. I personally think that's taking a fairly new friendship over the line. I have asked him not to go on his Xmas do now knowing she is going to be there and knowing what they have acted in this way and told him it makes me feel upset and unattractive and useless as he is treating her like I want to be treated 😢😢 he doesn't see my point and has said nothing is going to happen he's married to me they are just friends but I am so scared and upset at the thought of him walking out the door straight into her arms next Saturday leaving me home alone crying.

Am I over reacting and being unreasonable asking him not to go?
Thank you

Ayeok Sun 06-Nov-16 11:47:13

Don't demean yourself by asking him not to go, he knows how you feel and has chosen not to care.
He is not behaving like a husband should, what you've described would be enough for me to leave my DP if he were doing it. It shows a lack of respect for you and for your marriage.
I'd tell him to go if he wants, but be gone by the time he gets home.

FatOldBag Sun 06-Nov-16 12:11:55

YANBU. He's cheating. Flirting and hands all over each other and saying he'll have "the best looking date"!! That's cheating. If it was my H I would tell him either he cuts her off completely (no xmas do, blocked on phone and social media) and you work on your marriage and your boundaries, or it's over. He does see that it's wrong, he knows they aren't "just friends", he just doesn't care and thinks he can get away with it, which he is. Don't wait until he goes on the date to leave either, tell him now it's time to choose. If he says he's still going on the do then tell him it's over and LTB - it will save you a lot of heartbreak in the long run.

Montie16 Fri 11-Nov-16 14:34:18

Always trust your gut feelings is the best advice I can give. If you don't trust the situation, go with him. If you can't go with him ask that he misses it this year. If that attracts a bad response ask him if he fancies a date night with you and you'll pop in on the work do either before or after your date so as it doesn't seem that he's fobbing everyone off. And if you do get to go to the work do, make sure you're the sexiest bird in the room, ooze confidence and be flirty with hubby.... sounds like he craves attention!

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