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Is this rape. I've not really thought whether it is or not

(10 Posts)
Rachal9 Mon 31-Oct-16 00:54:11

Something happened to me when i was 11 years old and I've always wondered if I was anally raped or not... So here goes,

When I was 11 years old my Brothers had their mates round they were drinking smoking weed, they werent drunk to much so they knew what they were doing, then an hour or 2 later one of my brothers and 4 of his mates went out leaving the other mate to look after me as my other brother was listening to music, he didn't hear anything.. I was sat on the sofa watching TV eating chocolate crips and sweets! I'M GOING TO CALL HIM BEN TO PROTECT HIS IDENTITY! Then Ben came and sat next to me and asked me if he could kiss me, I said NO and got up to go and play in my bedroom, 5 minutes later I heard my door shut I turned around and saw him I stood up and he asked if we could have sex, I again said NO so I turned around and began to play again he then pulled me up and pulled my pants and underwear down then he pulled his down to and shoved his penis into me anally it went on for 10 minutes though it seemed like forever, he then pulled out pulled his pants up and left, Ii pulled my pants up and cried. I can't remember how long after I told my friend but she told her friend who was Bens cousin, it was a few days after that, that she told his mum and his mum told my mum and they all called me a liar because he had looked after me before and nothing like that had happened. I still remember everything till this day, 8 years later, I didn't go to the police or get counselling as my mum didn't think I needed it.

I don't know what to do please do anyone have any suggestions it's killing me.


Oswin Mon 31-Oct-16 00:57:51

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

You were raped. You were let down by everyone.

Please think about going to the police.

Rachal9 Mon 31-Oct-16 01:08:13

I'm currently awaiting going to court to testify against my uncle for sexually abusing me from the ages 14-18, and they keep saying that it is and isn't going to court due to lack of evidence, I've not included that as it's not apart this, I'm just worried that if I go to the police about my brothers friend it's going to be the same

Amandahugandkisses Mon 31-Oct-16 01:12:39

Yes you were raped. I'm so sorry at how it was minimised. You may certainly have some unhealed trauma from it.

Pandamanda3 Mon 31-Oct-16 01:14:28

Oh gosh sweet heart that's dreadful, yes im afraid you were raped by that monster, you really should if you feel able go to the police. You should also get some counselling as this will help you decide how you think you should proceed and how to cope with the trauma you've been through.
Do you have a good rl friend you could go to for support?

Would you feel comfortable talking to your mum about it? You need some support it is so wrong what he did is unforgivable and worse still you were a child.

Is he still a friend of your brothers? And are you having to be subjected to seeing him? I hope not.
You poor love, you are strong and you must remember that and stay strong.
He is an animal and should pay for his crime, im a strong believer in what goes around comes around and one day he will get a taste of his own medicine and I hope it's soon.

If you need to talk there are always people hear who will listen.
But I would also try Samaritans rape help line there is good support out there from professionally trained people, just google it

Your in my thought im so sorry this happened op it's so unfair💐

Rachal9 Mon 31-Oct-16 01:35:55

Yes my brother does still talk to him from time to time and I do occasionally still see Him.

OlennasWimple Mon 31-Oct-16 01:47:20


Milkand2sugarsplease Tue 01-Nov-16 21:51:59

There is no such thing as non-consensual sex. There is consensual sex and then there's rape. Anything not in the consensual sex bracket is therefore rape!

If you feel able to you should report this and if you don't feel able to report it, at least seek out some support from either friends or professionals - whichever you feel able to.


6demandingchildren Wed 02-Nov-16 16:49:15

I feel this incident led your uncle to abuse you later, due to the fact that everyone dismissed you be thought that if you said anything about him it would also be dismissed.
Please go to the police and please get some help as this was rape and this was not your fault.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Sat 05-Nov-16 14:16:55

Yes of course it was. You were 11 years old. Even if you had wanted him to and it had been all your idea then it would STILL be rape. You were far far too young to consent.

But you didn't. You said no. He used the fact that he was bigger and stronger to force you.

Each of these paragraphs fits the legal definition of rape. Please go to the police.

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