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Partner wants to take our baby to see his ex's family

(20 Posts)
Montie16 Sat 29-Oct-16 12:26:36

My partner sprung it on me today that he wants to take our 6 week old baby to see his ex's family. Was I wrong to say "no way!" I don't think he's ever got over his ex. They split 8 years ago, he doesn't really have anything to do with her family so why does he want to take our baby to visit them?! Now he's making me feel like I'm being grossly unfair by saying no.

ChuckBiscuits Sat 29-Oct-16 12:31:19

No of course that is totally inappropriate.

ImperialBlether Sat 29-Oct-16 12:31:39

Put the onus on him and ask him why he wants to do that. And will she be there?

DearMrDilkington Sat 29-Oct-16 12:32:14

What?! Why??confused

HeartShapedBox Sat 29-Oct-16 12:32:56

That's a bit odd, I wouldn't like it either.

228agreenend Sat 29-Oct-16 12:40:05

that's weird. If he still maintained a relationship with them, and remained friends, fair enough. Was he planning to go alone or with you?

Maybe it is innocent and he bumped into ex's relative who said they would love to see the baby sometime.

Maybe he just wants to show the baby off?

ToujeoQueen Sat 29-Oct-16 15:48:20

Very odd, why does he want to do that?

FlapsTie Sat 29-Oct-16 15:50:16

How bizarre? Does he have children with his ex?

AyeAmarok Sat 29-Oct-16 15:50:21

Does he keep in touch with them?

If he hasn't spoken to them in 8 years, it's a bit odd...

Meadows76 Sat 29-Oct-16 15:52:41

Context please?

Is he freinds with the family or does he randomly want to meet with them after years?

Sallyz0z0 Sat 29-Oct-16 16:40:43

I think you should tell him you've recently had a baby and faced big changes, physically and mentally, and that you think it is extremely inconsiderate, disrespectful and downright rude that he should want anything to do with his old relationship at this time, and especially to want to bring your child into it!

Montie16 Sat 29-Oct-16 17:01:03

I think he's maybe seen his ex's family twice in the last 8 years. I did ask him how he would respond if I said I wanted to take our baby to see my ex's baby, and he didn't respond. He doesn't have any children with his ex so I feel really uncomfortable with the idea of our baby being dragged into his past which has nothing to do with me or baby.

Montie16 Sat 29-Oct-16 17:03:48

They don't stay in touch. Perhaps a hello in passing that's about it. He doesn't have children with his ex, which if he did I'd understand his reasoning.

AnyFucker Sun 30-Oct-16 15:49:13

There is something he is not telling you, clearly

Ineededtonamechange Sun 30-Oct-16 16:14:24


I'd take this as wanting to prove to his ex that he is over her... Even if he still harbours the what ifs....

"Hell No" would have been my answer too!

DiegeticMuch Sun 30-Oct-16 22:03:08

There's no need. I genuinely don't see the point. It's not as though there are children from that relationship who want to meet their half sibling.

If his ex hasn't met a partner/had kids, she may feel as if he's rubbing her nose in it. I'm sure that's not his intention though.

nicenewdusters Sun 30-Oct-16 23:07:01

No, no and no. Bloody weird and outrageous request. What is the point of the visit?

Pallisers Sun 30-Oct-16 23:13:09


I imagine his exes' family will be equally weirded out at the idea of this guy from 8 years ago coming back to show them his baby. Will probably trigger an entirely different post on MN.

Can he tell you why he wants to do this? What he is expecting from this entirely bizarre meeting between a man who is nothing to this family but who seems to want to show them his child? I presume they will be nice and say "lovely baby" but won't actually want to spend even one minute with him and his baby.

WatchingFromTheWings Sun 30-Oct-16 23:15:11

I wouldn't allow it. Bit of an odd thing to do.

JellyBelli Sun 30-Oct-16 23:59:01

Dont allow it, he might be using your baby to rub her face in it about something. Its not healthy.

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