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Stay near supportive family or move close to partners kids?

(3 Posts)
MummyKoba Thu 27-Oct-16 17:23:07

A bit of background:
We all originally lived by my partners family. He has two kids from a previous relationship and we have one together. Partners ex moved the kids about 3.5 hours away without notice and so we only saw the kids every other weekend. (Though it was a struggle)
Then we moved 4.5 hours away - close to my family so I had support while i had a young baby which was a life saver. It meant seeing the kids less (one weekend a month)
Now my baby is a toddler, we are considering moving closer to my partners kids, so we can all see each other more often. (At least one night each weekend)
My partner works away so we only see him on weekends and at the moment we see him 3 out of 4 weekends, but the weekend he see's the kids we don't see him for 2 weeks as he travels straight from work to the kids, then back to work again.

I'm trying to decide what would be better for all kids.
At the moment, all kids see their family on their mother's side, but don't see their dad as often.
If we moved they'd get to see their dad more, but my child would not have any extended family near by - just brother, sister and dad on the weekends.

It's hard for my partner dealing with the guilt of not seeing he eldest two children, and I want him to be happy. I also love his two kids, though I do struggle a bit when we have all three together as I get stressed and anxious easily.

What would you do?

booksandcoffee Thu 27-Oct-16 17:27:54

I think I would move near his kids. You will always have a phone for when you need support from your family, but that is not the same as face to face contact when it comes to kids.

Inthepalemoonlight Thu 27-Oct-16 17:34:20

I would move close to his kids. If they were your kids you would want to. I think everybody should try their best to see their own children though I know you said it was their mother who originally moved them so it's not cut and dry.

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