Advanced search

Is there a friendship issue?

(10 Posts)
bottleofredplease Thu 13-Oct-16 21:10:39

I'm not sure what to do here and wondered if anyone might offer some advice.
Its about my 10 year old DD. She has a close friend at school, they have been best friends since reception and spend play time together. Friend has been to ours after school to play lots and for sleepovers three times. Her friend has never been one to have friends over much and doesn't often have a birthday party either, DD does go there occasionally after school but her mum has been busy with work so that's fine. I have noticed recently that friend has invited other girls over but not my DD for at least a year and I wonder if she doesn't want them to be friends? I feel sad for my DD as they are so close but seems the friendship is not being encouraged.
The other girls mums are friends with the mum. I am too and we go out for drinks etc.
So would you ask her if DD has done something wrong or something? I just don't want to encourage their friendship if she is never going to be invited to play or anything.

bottleofredplease Thu 13-Oct-16 21:21:16


JellyBelli Fri 14-Oct-16 00:01:16

If your DD has noticed, ask her if she wants you to get involved. Be cautious and dont just wade in,. you could make things awkward for her.

bottleofredplease Fri 14-Oct-16 07:42:12

Thanks, I realise I could make it worse but am curious to know why. She has been here at least ten times and her mum always seems happy when I invite her so I just don't know. It seems a shame that her best friend never invites her over.

TheCrowFromBelow Fri 14-Oct-16 07:50:14

Unless your DD asks your advice or you notice someone is a really bad influence, it's best to stay out of it. I know it's hard as you want everything to be OK for your daughter but she should be doing the inviting not you, obviously you need to give permission but it needs to come from them. Friendships ebb and flow at this age!

bottleofredplease Fri 14-Oct-16 08:21:28

The other thing is that my other DC is always being invited to her friends. I am finishing work late next week and my DD asked if I could ask this friends mum if she could go there until 5pm after school as other daughter is going to a friends. I am not sure whether to ask as she may have some issue with my DD comingsad

JoJoSM2 Sat 15-Oct-16 22:11:31

I don't know if there's a problem or if the mum is socially a bit clueless and hasn't realised that they haven't reciprocated. Perhaps the girl has, say, been over to play in the last few days and then, when her mum wants her daughter to socialise, she invites other friends as her daughter has just played with yours. I think you could try not to invite the girl over and see if you get an invite. That way you'll know if she wants to encourage the friendship or not.

ExitPursuedBySpartacus Sat 15-Oct-16 22:14:55

Ask. If she says no at least you know.

It gets better by the time they are 16.

9troubledwaters Sat 15-Oct-16 22:19:10

Ime if the mums are friends then the kids get invited over much more

RandomMess Sat 15-Oct-16 22:33:01

Could it just be that the Mum wants her DD to have a wider circle of friends rather than an exclusive best friend?

It does sound as your DD and hers play fairly exclusively and they could be too dependent on each other?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now