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(6 Posts)
Lewow30 Mon 10-Oct-16 10:35:39

Please can someone help my thoughts are going round in circles.
Dh and I are thinking of moving from Kent to Somerset with out 2 boys (3&5) but my family are giving me a real hard time. Saying I'm selfish and not thinking about the children as I'm taking them away from everyone they love (although only a 3 hour drive). We see my mum once every 5-6 wks or so and she stays down for the week, na and Grandads pop in for a cuppa here and there and kids see cousins for b days and the odd day out through the summer.
The reasons for relocating is hubby can get better pay for his work, crime rates are better, slower pace of life and not so manic and where we are now just doesn't seem to have a community feel. Also we want to get on the property ladder eventually and it's almost impossible with Kent property prices.
We rent so could always come back but I don't want to keep uprooting the kids. We hardly ever have babysitters. I think we had 1 night away this year.
Has anyone else done this and been guilt tripped? The more I think about it the less I can decide. I'm notorious for making impulsive decisions which was always okay until children come into the picture. I don't want them having an unsettled childhood. I need someone with a crystal ball. Thanks everyone.

newmummyagain Mon 10-Oct-16 10:39:19

How long have you been thinking about it? We relocated, not the same as you, actually to be near family. But other than being great family it didn't make sense on paper. We moved from north to south and it's been expensive. However, every time I tried to park the idea, it kept coming back to me. So it wasn't impulsive.

Yes we are tighter, but happier, so glad I made the decision. So I guess to know if it's impulsive it depends how long you've been thinking about it.

BittyWanter Mon 10-Oct-16 10:44:09

We relocated this year.
3 hours from family. Better standard of living. Cheaper rent. Lower crime rates. Slower pace of life etc

We have three DC aged 9,5 and 3. The younger two have settled into school much better than I anticipated. 9 year old has just had to move to a middle school in September so he's been a little unsettled but we expected that.

I would say do it. You have to think about what's best for you, DC and your dh. You are responsible for their upbringing.

If you have a close family then you will stay in contact and see each other regularly. I can understand your family being upset especially as the DC are young and it's a special time but we see our family around once a month or so and it's nice when we do.

Crazycatlady83 Mon 10-Oct-16 10:59:43

We have just relocated to Somerset for my husband's job and its great! My family were really supportive but the in laws were less than happy! We had already made the discussion, and my husband had accepted the job / quit his last job so they didn't get the opportunity to have any say in it! We knew we were making the right decision for our family and if was our decision alone to make!

It is a lot better value in Somerset, rents are cheaper and house prices a lot more affordable (we relocated from London commuter belt) I also find food / activities for the kids are cheaper, isn't so much traffic and generally a slower/easier pace!

We see our families 1 or 2 per month and when we do, it's a nice family day out, rather than a rushed lunch or just popping in for an hour or so!

If you want to relocate, I say do it! It's your family's decision alone to make! Good luck!

Lewow30 Mon 10-Oct-16 11:48:12

Thanks everyone that's very reassuring. We first thought about it back in April-may time but after having my mum and nan on the phone crying we decided against it, but haven't been able to forget about it since and have been looking into it again over the past couple of months. My mum has mental health problems (bi-polar) and doesn't think she'll manage without me (although I have brother and a sister to help out) but we don't see her too often and when we do she'll stay for a while. She says she won't visit if we move it'll be too hard for her. She's stubborn but making my decision really hard. Wow this is like a therapy session wink
Maybe my family leans on me too much and the break away will do me and the little ones the world of good. Only one way to find out I suppose. Visiting for a long weekend this wkend and will be making our final decision. Eeeeek. So many emotions. I just hope it's the right thing for the children, hubby and i will make anywhere home.
Thanks again smile

HereIAm20 Mon 10-Oct-16 16:26:10

My parents live in the US , the inlaws in Wales and we live in the East of England.

Live your life for you and your kids. The family visit and there are phone calls and skype and no-one gets under each other's feet all the time.

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