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Worried about safety of friends' kids

(9 Posts)
alphasox Fri 02-Sep-16 15:24:06

I've always known a friend has a very different more relaxed parenting style to mine but it hasn't been a big issue. there's been a couple of incidents however recently where I know she put her kids in danger and I can't stop worrying about them. I really don't know what to do. It's absolutely none of my business I know, but I can't stop worrying and wondering what if - if something happens to them I'll feel I should have said something. but what to say?

candykane25 Fri 02-Sep-16 15:27:56

That's worrying. I've been in a similar situation and I sought advice from a social worker friend, spoke to the parent, spoke to the child and spoke to another family member of the child about my concerns.
The patent told me to mind my own business but at least she knew I was watching.the child knows I am watching too and knows they can talk to me.
You might need more specifics for more detailed advice though.

alphasox Fri 02-Sep-16 15:51:55

Thanks candykane. I guess I'm nervous to say too much in a public forum. One thing that worries me is the kids often don't wear seatbelts in the car (i've seen once, but the kids say that they never wear them), and another - leaving kids (3 and 7) alone in the house which again I suspected was happening a few times a week but this time I know happened. So nothing awful has happened to the kids and they are loved and fed and happy, but for me they are risks I would never take on the chance of a what if...

PurpleDaisies Fri 02-Sep-16 15:54:04

I think without more detail it's difficult to say whether you're overreacting or she's being an unfit parent.

PurpleDaisies Fri 02-Sep-16 15:55:34

Cross posted with you. The seatbelt thing is totally out of order.

How long is she leaving the children alone for?

alphasox Fri 02-Sep-16 15:58:14

at least 30 mins, sometimes up to an hour. So not forever.

PurpleDaisies Fri 02-Sep-16 16:01:42

How do you know she's doing this, and for what purpose is she going out?

I think those things are both pretty serious, and I don't think I could not say something about it. What did you say on the occasion when you saw the children not wearing seat belts?

CandyMcJingles Fri 02-Sep-16 16:32:04

(IT issues may MN have reactivated an old account for me - so immcandykane25 from above but on this account now)

My concern would be that there might be more neglect, because that is what this is, than you know. An hour becomes two hours and do on.

I thnk this does need to be addressed. Hope someone with more knowledge comes along.

alphasox Fri 02-Sep-16 16:50:53

Thanks both. In the past I've just acted surprised they weren't wearing belts and addressed the kids .. so she knew I didn't think it was appropriate but I didn't directly tell her. Because I'm non-confrontational! I need to work out what to say to her without offering myself up as a free on-tap baby sitter every time she needs to pop out... which I could imagine might happen.

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