So confused. Don't know what to do

(2 Posts)
Dannii6 Mon 29-Aug-16 16:56:12

Hi. I've never posted before but am a lurker I just really need some advice.
Back story. We've been together 10 years and are supposed to be getting married in a few weeks. We also have 2 dc.
Around 5 years I was suffering with pnd (not an excuse I know) and I slept with someone else. Told dp about it we talked it through and he chose to forgive me.
So the other night I went out with some friends and the guy I cheated with was in the same bar. I have had no contact with him since it happened.
I left the bar with a male friend who was going to walk me to the taxi before going to meet some friends of his. The guy also left at the same time and walked the same way. We ended up kind of walking together but my friend had a phone call and stopped to answer. The other guy went straight into a taxi and as I was drunk I didn't think to go back and say bye to my friend and just jumped in a different taxi and went home.
However my friend assumed I'd gone home with the other guy and told my partner this.
I got home and he snatched my phone off me demanding my passcode.
Because I was drunk and angry I refused. I wanted him to feel shit tbh. Anyway this resulted in him holding me by my throat to the point I couldn't breath and then hitting me over the head with a console controller leaving a lump and nasty bruise on my forehead.
He has never done this before but there have been times in arguments where I thought he was going to hit me.
He's very remorseful but I don't think I can forgive him for this. He knows I grew up with a father who constantly accused my mother of affairs and was often violent and verbally aggressive. I do not want that for my kids.
Was it my fault for not giving him the passcode? Or have I turned him into this person by what I did years ago?
I just need some advice. Thanks x

BBQueen Mon 29-Aug-16 19:33:33

Bloody hell, I definitely would not be getting married to this man if I were you. I think it's time to start thinking about whether you have a future together at all...

Huge sympathy to you. What a shit situation to have to deal with.

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