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To Tell or Not to Tell?

(7 Posts)
ToNewFutures Thu 25-Aug-16 16:33:57

Hello, I am looking for some friendly advise. I am 30 weeks pregnant (going to be a single mum) and over the last couple months have been gaining feelings for my best friend. I realise this is not the best time to be looking for a romantic relationship and am not even sure I want one. Plus, I don't believe he shares my feelings anyway. But I feel like I should tell my friend how I feel either so I can move on, or incase I learn something could potentially happen in the future. So I wonder if any of you feel it is worth me telling him how I feel, even if just to get it out of my system?

Long Background story:
We have been best friends for 14 years now (since high school), he asked me out in school - I said no; I had a crush on him a few years ago for a month where he agreed to stay away - he asked at the time what I wanted and I said friendship, he never said anything regarding his own feelings - and we stayed great friends after the "crush" died.

We hug/cuddle a lot, play fight from time to time, make inuendo's with each other (more so he does this), share intimate details about passed relationships with each other, he enjoys listening to my crazy thoughts and ideas on life which no other man ever has...As you can guess we are pretty close.

A few weeks ago I asked if he felt we would have worked out if we had got together when he asked me out - his reply was that half of him believed I was right to say no at the time, but the other half believed we would have worked.

The more time we spend together the more amazing he becomes. He genuinely listens, gives up his bed when I stay over (has a comfy floor mattress but refuses to let me take the floor), compliments me to his family and to my face etc...

BUT: he has also openly admitted he likes two women who are not me. Because of my situation I almost don't want to say anything incase he does like me - I feel like he would be better off with one of these lovely ladies in particular because she isn't pregnant and the two of them share the same hobby.

Sorry for the long report, but can anyone give some feedback on what they believe I should do in this situation? Thank you for reading!

Vixxfacee Thu 25-Aug-16 16:37:27

Might be harsh but you are having a baby in a few months and that should be your focus rather than trying to get with someone else. Keep your friendship for now and Focus on your child.

ToNewFutures Thu 25-Aug-16 19:46:49

It isn't harsh it is what I am also trying to say - I do not currently want a relationship as I will be too busy in the coming months. I just wonder if I will be able to focus more on my pregnancy if I get my feelings out in the open..?

ftmsoon Thu 25-Aug-16 19:54:17

Don't do it, it will only make things incredibly awkward. Chances are it's your hormones talking anyway.

Oly5 Thu 25-Aug-16 20:03:27

Don't do it.
You have enough going on.
Keep him as a friend for now and if the feelings are still there in 6-8 months time then maybe think about it. See how he is with the baby too

FeralBeryl Thu 25-Aug-16 20:14:47

My views on many, many things were completely skewed in pregnancy.
Things I felt passionately indignant about didn't arse me afterwards etc.
You are a literal hormonal hurricane at the moment. Wait 18 years until after the baby has come and you gain some slight normality back before putting yourself through the stress.

ToNewFutures Thu 25-Aug-16 22:05:34

Thank you for your responses, I will follow the advise given. Honestly, I have wondered if these feelings are "real" or not so yes I will wait and see smile

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