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My husband has been using dating sites :(

(2 Posts)
user1472128444 Thu 25-Aug-16 13:54:29

I could do with some advice please...
My husband hasn't been very attentive lately, in fact it was our wedding anniversary yesterday. He bought me the crapest gift ever and we sat pretty much in silence all last night in front of the tele (I was silently seething because of the bad gift) and he didnt bother to try and coax out of me what was wrong (guessing he didnt want an argument over the crap gift!).
I was only upset about the gift because he clearly had put zero effort into it btw, and usually he puts a lot of thought into it.
So it got me thinking if something is going on, I looked on his laptop earlier and checked his history and discovered he has been on A LOT of dating sites, all local hook-up type things looking for friends with benefits, he has profiles, some of them even with graphic photos of himself. I am devastated (thats an understatement!).
Our daughter is only eleven weeks old (our first and only child). I admit our sex life has been non existent lately, we haven't done the dance since I was in the second trimester (mainly due to awful SPD and now still slowly recovering from a c-section). I never expected him to go looking elsewhere though.
So what do I do now? He is currently at work and I have been playing over and over in my head how I can confront him and what outcome I want.
A big part of me wants to ask him to leave (at least for tonight so I can clear my head) but he has nowhere to go. All his family and friends live about 200 miles away. I did think about taking me and the baby to my parents or friends home for the night, but then I'd have to tell them whats happened and if me and the hubs do work things out they will forever hold it against him.
I dont think btw that he has actually cheated on me. He never goes anywhere apart from work, we are together constantly in all his free time. I like to think that he wouldnt actually go through with a hook up but am I being naive?
I have felt such a mess since the birth of babe, leaky boobs, extra weight, and always covered in vomit! I am hardly sexy to be fair, but I still didn't expect this.
Obviously I dont want to tear our family apart over this, but what do I do? How do we get through this?
Thanks in advance for any replies xxx

queenofthepirates Thu 25-Aug-16 14:03:35

What do you want to do? He's broken the trust in your marriage so please don't give too much thought as to what he might think. If you want to tell him to leave, pack him a bag with a screen shot attached and bolt the doors. He can stay in a hotel until you're ready to talk to him.
Be strong, you can get through this. Having a baby is no excuse for him to cheat, especially when you are so vulnerable.

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