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maintaining the peace with baby momma

(20 Posts)
Nabanja Mon 15-Aug-16 12:53:47

My DH has a 4 yr old child from a previous relationship and the BM has lately got a bit crazy . We used to have the child for 2 weekends a month. And this summer, we've had him for a few weeks in the summer holidays so she can work, partay etc. Last week she suddenly had a brainwave that she needed to see my CRB, check the house is safe etc. She insinuated, but didn't make any clear accusation, that her child had sustained an injury under my watch.
I'm in the medical profession and any accusation of non accidental injury can ruin my career. My DH says she's just ranting and it will blow over. But I haven't been able to sleep since then.
What would you do?

ThatStewie Mon 15-Aug-16 23:15:04

Stop calling her 'baby momma' for one. That level of sexism speaks volumes.

Dreamfrog Mon 15-Aug-16 23:17:14

That's a difficult one. I'd seek proper advice from CAB or somewhere. I don't think she can insist on these but you don't want her to make life difficult either.

Temporaryanonymity Mon 15-Aug-16 23:23:03

Had the child for a few weeks so she could work? Nice.

Why doesn't your husband step up and do his share of the parenting? Two weekends a month is nothing.

You sound like you have no respect for her at all.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Mon 15-Aug-16 23:24:35

We seem to have had an influx of threads about 'baby momma' and 'baby daddy' - it's almost as bad as the huns, bubs etc

Marilynsbigsister Mon 15-Aug-16 23:34:00

Old and naive here..what the hell is a Baby Momma ? Is it the mother of a child of the family ?

ComedyWing Mon 15-Aug-16 23:36:05

Other posters would refer to her as DH's ex-partner, Marilyn. 'Baby momma' is shockingly sexist and belittling.

reallyanotherone Mon 15-Aug-16 23:36:06


LiviaDrusillaAugusta Mon 15-Aug-16 23:40:59

Fuck me, it's getting like an episode of Maury....

TheGruffaloMother Mon 15-Aug-16 23:42:06

You're a medical professional so presumably you're also intelligent. So you should be able to pick up on how disrespectful you sound and the fact that she may well have picked up on it too.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Mon 15-Aug-16 23:43:42

Phrases like baby momma just make you sound like a twat

TheGruffaloMother Mon 15-Aug-16 23:44:29

Oh, and a child sustaining an injury under your watch is not the same as you intentionally hurting the child. God knows how you made that leap.

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Aug-16 23:47:31

Great. Someone who uses shitty terminology and is full of such contempt imply a they work in a profession where they could come into contact with vulnerable people. Fucing hellfire.

NoCapes Mon 15-Aug-16 23:48:28

'Baby momma'?

Where the fuck am I?!

Missgraeme Tue 16-Aug-16 17:30:07

Maybe the user also uses Glow app (USA version) all posters use baby mama etc! If the mother of your husbands child has genuine issues she would go through a solicitor or ss. She is simply being an arse - prob because she tried to p u off by swopping /adding days to suit herself and u didn't bite. Who your dh has the child spend time with is his call not hers. Unless u are proved to have a record of offences against children.

happypoobum Tue 16-Aug-16 21:31:54

Grow Up!

AnyFucker Tue 16-Aug-16 21:33:05

If you are in the medical profession I will show my arse on the town hall steps

HerRoyalFattyness Tue 16-Aug-16 21:36:20


Penfold007 Tue 16-Aug-16 21:37:43

You are in the medical profession????????????????????????????????

WittyCakeMeister Sun 21-Aug-16 20:27:51

It sounds like there is a lot of tension and bitterness between you and your husband's ex. You may dislike her but this tension will eat away at your mental health, happiness of your husband and kids. No good will come of it.

The more you retaliate and get bitter, the more she will, and she'll try to cause problems for you.

You are blowing her request for crb check out of proportion. Its over-the-top, but she prob does not know you well enough to feel secure about leaving her child with you for weeks at a time. Yeah, she's prob requesting it and suggesting an accident happened to be mean. So, stop this cycle and don't rise to it.

Its stupid to make the comment that she could potentially ruin your career. If her accusations are unfounded, when investigated (unlikely she would go that far anyway), who's going to listen to a jealous bitter ex-partner?
Remain calm, just keep stating nonchalantly '"That's not what happened", as if you are totally unphased.

Your husband needs to deal with the crb issue. He's their Dad. He needs to wait for her to calm down and tell her calmly that she is worrying for nothing and its not going to happen.

Everytime you show her she's getting to you or behave in ways that show her you resent her existence, she thinks she is winning and so the poisonous cycle continues.

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