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Can't afford to feed my kids

(211 Posts)

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PlonkerFace Mon 08-Aug-16 20:51:31

DP and I have 2 DP's and he has 2 DD's who moved in with us in March after a court order was made because their mother was emotionally abusing them etc. So there are 4 kids and 2 adults here. DP is self employed but hardly earns anything atm, All our benefits were stopped when they moved in on March 18th because we had to make new claims, we still haven't received any money yet (5 months later!!) because their mother had been lying and saying that they still live with her so that she can still claim the money for them. It's all she cares about. It's not just the money for the girls but our boys money has been stopped in the meantime too so we aren't getting a penny. We've sent all the evidence off that they've asked for (the court order, letters from social services etc). I've rang child tax every single day but they say they can't do anything because they have to give her until the 24th of this month to reply to her letter or send evidence off, she was sent to prison on the 22nd of July so she isn't going to reply to it, surely they have a way of checking if someone is in prison? Also, they have all the proof they need that they are with us so what are they waiting for? Both DP's are in nappies so that's expensive enough as it is, we have hardly any food left in the house,1 baby jar, hardly any baby milk, gas and electric are both on emergency and due to run out. I can usually rely on my mother to lend me money when I need it but we've been without money for so long now that I already owe her £200 so there is no way I can ask her again. The rent is months behind and the landlord is getting really pissed off. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sick to death of worrying where the next bit of food is coming from to feed the kids, or where the next money is coming from for gas/elec. we haven't been able to take the kids anywhere so far during the sumner holidays but that's the least of our worries at the moment, just thought it would be nice for them after everything their so called mother has put them through the last few years. They're not even going to look at our claim until the 24th so that doesn't even mean we'll get money on the 24th, it could still be a week or two after that, the food isn't going to last until tomorrow let alone 2/3 weeks away. My hair has started going grey and that isn't a joke, I'm 26! I'm so stressed out and drained from worrying myself sick over it that it's causing arguments between me and DP because we're so stressed, just don't know what to do anymore sad do you think citizens advice would do anything or should we just wait even longer?

StealthPolarBear Mon 08-Aug-16 20:53:41

Do you have social care involvement (if they have a mum in prison)
Cold you ask to be referred to a food bank

StealthPolarBear Mon 08-Aug-16 20:55:05

And why does your dp earn hardly anything? Can one of you get a job?

PlonkerFace Mon 08-Aug-16 20:55:14

Social services are involved but they reckon they can't give us any money until next week because of the paperwork involved hmm

Lookatyourwatchnow Mon 08-Aug-16 20:55:37

Are social services involved currently?

StealthPolarBear Mon 08-Aug-16 20:55:39

Would prob make sense for that to be you

Lookatyourwatchnow Mon 08-Aug-16 20:56:14

Cross post. The paperwork involved? That's bollocks.

Inthepalemoonlight Mon 08-Aug-16 20:56:45

Go to citizens' advice as soon as you can. You should also see your MP. They can help in situations like this. Also get a referral for a foodbank for short term help - from a doctor or health visitor. It's a disgrace that you have been left like this especially when your children most need to feel safe and secure after being abused.

Clutteredmess Mon 08-Aug-16 20:57:03

Can you get a referral to a food bank?

Lookatyourwatchnow Mon 08-Aug-16 20:57:33

If they are aware you have no nappies, food and electricity they can't not give you money

PlonkerFace Mon 08-Aug-16 20:57:33

Just having a hard time at work at the moment, and the work he had been doing for the last fortnight he won't get paid for until next Friday. Yes he has a job,I can't st the moment because I have 4 kids here to look after and can't afford childcare, doubt we would get a job by tomorrow when all our food and gas/elec runs out anyway

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate Mon 08-Aug-16 20:57:35

I'm no expert but definitely get to citizens advice and keep putting your case forward so that you are seen as a priority. Can you get a good bank referral to get you through the next few days? Maybe ask around about local charities or church groups which may have support systems in place which you could use? I really feel for you, this sounds an awful situation and I hope
You get the support you need and deserve.

RoseDawson Mon 08-Aug-16 20:57:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways Mon 08-Aug-16 20:58:31

I'd get your mp involved. Usually when they contact tax credits it can speed things up very, very quickly.

IrenetheQuaint Mon 08-Aug-16 20:58:56

If your DP doesn't have much work, could you pick up some casual evening work or similar?

Plus, do you have any baby stuff you could sell on eBay?

Ilovewineandcrisps Mon 08-Aug-16 20:59:16

Have you googled nearest food banks/ church's that could help? sad

StealthPolarBear Mon 08-Aug-16 20:59:25

But his dd's have already lost a parent. Suspect they need the other one to be fairly hands on

greathat Mon 08-Aug-16 21:00:09

Well with 4 kids worth of childcare to find and pay for I'm not sure thats helpful advice?

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Mon 08-Aug-16 21:00:22

I'm not 100% sure, but I think social services may be able to make you an emergency payment quicker than that if you cannot feed your children. They will surely also be able to refer to a food bank. I hope your situation improves, you sound like you have your hands full flowers
You should get back payment of benefits, so could borrowing more off your mum until you get paid an option?

IrenetheQuaint Mon 08-Aug-16 21:01:08

If your children are at risk of going hungry then ask your mother for help, I'm sure she wouldn't want them to suffer.

Oly5 Mon 08-Aug-16 21:01:43

Go and get a referral to a food bank first of all.
Then citizens advice and social security - go to their office

poshme Mon 08-Aug-16 21:02:04

Call your MP. This is exactly the kind of situation that when they make a call things can happen quickly. I work for one.

elephantoverthehill Mon 08-Aug-16 21:02:14

I also would suggest getting a referral to a Food Bank just to get you over this time. It depends on where you live and how generous the donations are but you get 3 days worth of food for each member of your household and you can request nappies, baby food etc.

donajimena Mon 08-Aug-16 21:02:25

Love the 'get a job' yep even if you did find one tomorrow you would still have to wait to be paid.
I second contacting your MP

StealthPolarBear Mon 08-Aug-16 21:02:31

Great hat casual work could be fitted around her dp's, or she could get work and he could sah.
neither of those is immediate money I appreciate sad but may help prevent this again in afew weeks

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