Don't want to go on holiday with in laws

(20 Posts)
Bigbadbax12345 Thu 04-Aug-16 20:30:52

Husband wants to go on 2 week family holiday to Spain. Brother in laws is paying for villa.. His mum step dad sister and sister in law and kids all going.
Dread hits everything I think of it. His brother is so rude to me..his sister I find it difficult to talk to his stepdad is just drunk contiously i don't like him around my young kids because of the way he talks ehen drinking. I have told him I don't want to go. His answer is I am and he is taking the kids.
I feel upset bout my kids going away for 2 weeks..and now uncomfortable around his family. Basically I feel guilty for not wanting to go.
What do I do???

fuckyoucanceryoucuntingknob Thu 04-Aug-16 20:31:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elQuintoConyo Thu 04-Aug-16 20:35:18

Say no. Or let DH go with the children.

oldestmumaintheworld Thu 04-Aug-16 20:36:15

My answer would be 'No thanks. And what are we doing for a holiday as a family then?'

RandomMess Thu 04-Aug-16 20:37:41

He can't force you to go.

How old are the DC?

Realistically he can take the DC without you - which is the worse scenario him going without you and taking the DC or him going and leaving the DC behind with you?

Would he really prepared to look after the DC for 2 weeks without you there?

nicolasixx Thu 04-Aug-16 20:37:54

Go for 1 week not 2?

36mum Fri 05-Aug-16 13:05:18

Hide the passports!

PlanBwastaken Fri 05-Aug-16 13:11:28

Oh come on, of course he can bring his own children on a holiday. What ages are they, as that makes a difference (EBF six-month-old is obviously a no)?

AgentProvocateur Fri 05-Aug-16 13:16:24

Let him go with the children then. The children will enjoy playing with their cousins and your DH will enjoy being with his family. The worst thing you could do is go grudgingly and sit with your face tripping you for a week.

Missgraeme Tue 09-Aug-16 20:07:49

Def go with the hide the passport idea. Wouldn't trust dh with the kids and screwed up relatives.

SpongeCakeBigPants Tue 09-Aug-16 20:12:00

I would just suck it up and go to keep the peace. Hire a car and do lots of day trips / family beach days to limit the amount of time you spend at the villa.

Take a stack of books & drink lots of rosé!

TaLLyHOnellie Tue 09-Aug-16 20:49:27

I'd let him take the children if he is capable of looking after them properly and not want to get tipsy with his family.

RosieandJim89 Sat 13-Aug-16 08:20:58

It depends if you think he will care for them. When around his mum DH tends to let her do the childcare which is fine but she isn't bothered about too much sun or applying suncream. I would be wary of having him take kids without me for 2 weeks but one I could maybe get on board with.
Could you go for one and fly back "for work" and leave them to it?

bluebeck Sat 13-Aug-16 22:26:48

Erm, I don't think he can take them if you object actually.

It sounds hellish and I absolutely would not go. Holidays with large family groups are not my idea of fun.

So the real questions are

1. How do you feel about DH taking the DC on his own?

2. How do you feel about DH shutting down your concerns and dismissing them, just telling you "they are going."

When is the holiday? Definitely take the passports and hide them at your work/similar safe place, so he cannot get them if you decide DC aren't going due to safety concerns.

NapQueen Sat 13-Aug-16 22:30:03

Well I don't suppose he needs your permission to take the kids and I'd be pretty funked off if dh tried to stop me taking the kids away myself if he didn't want to go.

bluebeck Sat 13-Aug-16 22:35:16

Legally he cannot take DC abroad if OP refuses permission.

www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/client-services/family-relationships-and-divorce/international-family-law/taking-children-abroad

Lilacpink40 Sat 13-Aug-16 22:36:08

Let him take DCs and enjoy the break? Agree you'll give him a bit of a break when he returns?

NapQueen Sat 13-Aug-16 22:39:38

I'm certain that if this were the other way around a mum wanted to take her dcs away on a big family holiday and the husband didn't want to, she would be advised "just go and take the dcs bloody hell"

happypoobum Sat 13-Aug-16 22:40:45

The OP has said DH stepdad is a horrible drunk and she doesn't want him around the DC that much.

If she does allow the DC to go, bearing in mind that DH won't be able to take them if she doesn't agree to it, then she will probably be worried sick for two weeks. How old are the DC OP?

I certainly wouldn't go myself, but without knowing all the other people involved, or the ages of the DC, it's hard to know whether I would let my DC go or not.

I would however be fairly angry with DH for failing to acknowledge my concerns and just telling me he was taking them.

daverave Tue 16-Aug-16 01:39:21

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