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Announcing pregnancy to friends & family - contract at work.

(4 Posts)
ThePartyArtist Tue 26-Jul-16 14:51:04

I'm 7 weeks pregnant. We're thinking about how to share the news with family and friends. We're going to tell my five closest friends when I'm 11 weeks - because one of them is getting married and I'd like their understanding about why I'm not drinking, rather than having to be a secretive bridesmaid! We'll also tell my parents and sisters when I'm 11 weeks - because that's when we'll see them, and we'd like to do it face to face. All of these people will be under strict instructions that it doesn't go any further for now, and definitely not on Facebook. For wider family and friends we plan to wait until September (weeks 13 - 17) as I am awaiting a permanent contract at work and am due to sign it that month. We won't do a Facebook announcement at any stage.

Now the complication is DH's family. We're not sure whether to tell his parents and sisters when we tell mine. In a way, it seems fair that they know at the same time. However we are a bit worried that a) they might put it on Facebook or at least hint about it, and b) they might tell relatives and friends who won't know it's secret and may say something on Facebook. I'm not Facebook friends with anyone at work but I do have some connections (e.g. colleagues and I share some FB friends) and also we work in a very well connected sector where news can travel fast. I definitely wouldn't want the news reaching anyone at work because it could jeapardise my permanent contract. Is there any way I can change my Facebook settings so that for example, I couldn't be tagged in a post? Or so that people can't send me any publicly visible messages? Would this even be enough to reduce the risk sufficiently? So a safer bet might be to wait until we tell everyone else, and give them the news after my contract.

For what it's worth, my family and DH's family are not going to be in touch with one another so no risk of mine telling his.

I am probably over thinking it but just got to be so careful with my contract.

AnythingGoesWithMe Tue 26-Jul-16 14:54:15

You can change your timeline settings so that anything you are tagged in has to be approved before it appears on your wall. I would do that for both of you before sharing any news just in case.

ThePartyArtist Tue 26-Jul-16 15:13:19

Thanks, have done that already... just to check though; if someone wrote a post tagging me would it show on their wall without any approval needed? Just thinking if me and MIL have mutual FB friends, she posts something with my name in - they would see it wouldn't they? I would only be approving its appearance on MY wall?

AnythingGoesWithMe Tue 26-Jul-16 15:50:16

Oh I think you're right about it being on her wall. I was only thinking of your wall. I don't think there is a way to stop that apart from blocking her temporarily. You can set it so that only your friends can see posts rather than friends of friends. That might remove the mutual friend problem. It may be safest to just wait if it's likely to cause an issue at work.
Personally I would especially as there's no contact between families so they won't know that they have been told later.

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