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To go along or not to go

(7 Posts)
EatingMyHat Thu 21-Jul-16 10:01:34

Group of three adult women friends A, B and C I met on the school run.

A excessively exuberant and 'everyones' best mate. She gave me the 'best mate treatment' for a good few months. Very intense conversationalist.
B Shy, friendly, tends to be found close to where A is.
C Someone I admire, very friendly, has lots of friends
D (Me) socially reasonably confident but feeling vulnerable see below

So months ago C invited me to join her with A and B for coffee. I went and had a lovely time other than a left field barbed comment to me from A. Since then A has avoided me, shoots me daggers, turns her back at kids parties etc. We are in the same place half a dozen times a week. If there is an audience she will speak this means grilling for me rather than general chat. C's kids at different school now so she has not witnessed this. B has noticed I think, too non-confrontational to comment or support but is friendly to me, if A not present.

No idea what I did wrong (nothing intentionally anyway).

C has invited me to meet with the three for coffee again. I'd ordinarily love to go.

If you were me wwyd?

Houseworkavoider Thu 21-Jul-16 10:13:12

A might have the wrong end of the stick about you or she might just be a bit of a nasty cow. Either way don't let her poor behaviour exclude you from things.
I'm wary of people who form intense friendships in lightning speed. It's (ime) an indication of trouble!

accidentalpirate Thu 21-Jul-16 10:17:15

She sounds a bit jealous. She might think you're "stealing C" I'd ignore and carry on how you want to. If you go then she will either be nice to you in front of c or c will see what an unpleasant person she is. Either way you will see how she treats you and you can act accordingly. Good luck!

EatingMyHat Thu 21-Jul-16 10:26:14

Thanks,so much house and accident I'll put my big girl pants on, get brave and go along.

DH said avoid but he is not that into friends in general and has listened to me trying to work out what I did to A so I guess he rather not hear anymore!

Hoppinggreen Thu 21-Jul-16 10:32:50

I think A sees herself as the Queen Bee friend group gatekeeper and you are not suitably grateful. She is probably not happy about you and C having any interaction without her prior approval.
I would probably go anyway though

EatingMyHat Thu 21-Jul-16 13:29:13

thanks hopping If it is that then I am not likely to acknowledge A's self appointed position as chief of the group... so I may be in trouble then

AliceTheCamelHasNoHumps Fri 22-Jul-16 21:12:35

Ah in that case A will sense your refusal to bow down and will be feeling insecure about her Queen Bee status. Which could lead to bitchiness from A and could affect future friendships with B & C. She sounds like too much hard work for me, I like my friendships nice and straightforward.
But kind of agree you should go, with eyes open, just to double check how things stand. Be prepared to walk away if she is a bitch though, life's too short.
Good luck!

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