Neighbours' child screams all the time

(23 Posts)
KatzAttack Sun 26-Jun-16 22:07:45

Hi I'm new to this.

First of all, I'm not a parent, so I don't know if this behaviour is normal.

My neighbours' ~18 month old child screams for about 5-10 minutes every hour. It's not crying or grizzling, it's screaming blue murder. She'll scream her lungs out then wait 3 seconds and then scream again.

She was screaming at 8pm, then 9pm tonight. Her and her brother were screaming this afternoon as well - it happens all through the day.

A couple of days ago she started screaming at 1am - it seemed to go on for hours. I was so stressed by the end of it I couldn't go back to sleep. My performance at work is starting to suffer.

My Nan used to live with me and she could never sleep either due to this child screaming. She said the little boy used to be the same. "That little boy is such a misery", she used to say.

I've had to move into the box room with a single bed because that's the only room that doesn't border their house. My other next door have 2 boys, but the worst I hear from them is a 6am "Mummy, it's time to get up now!", which I think is rather sweet!

I'd like to take on a lodger, but I just can't until the screaming stops - I'm hoping she'll grow out of it and that they won't have another child. It's costing me a potential £400 pcm.

I've considered sound proofing, but my rooms are too small. Plus I have thousands of pounds of work to do on the house just to make it warm.

And because I'm not a parent I can't go round to their house and say "Your child screams a lot, is everything ok? Yes, children can be difficult... blah, blah, sympathy blah". I'll just be told "You're not a mother, you wouldn't understand!".

Perhaps it's normal. If it is normal then it's really putting me off having children, their children make parenting seem like an utterly miserable experience. They don't ever seem to play outside either - which I think is weird. I really wouldn't want to have a small person scream in my face for 10 minutes every hour, all day and all night for 3 years.

Oh... here she goes for her 10pm scream...

Fairuza Sun 26-Jun-16 22:16:37

If the brother grew out of it, she probably will too. Some toddlers are very unreasonable.

ColdTeaAgain Sun 26-Jun-16 22:26:25

Even the most unreasonable toddler doesn't scream like that every hour of every day. I'd be quite worried about them I think. Do you see them go and and about much at all?

HerRoyalFattyness Sun 26-Jun-16 22:28:53

If they don't play out its probably why they're screaming. They're probably bored out of their little minds. I'd scream if I was cooped up indoors all day too.

KatzAttack Sun 26-Jun-16 22:29:43

She's still screaming - 25 minutes now. It doesn't sound like she's about to drop off to sleep...

When I used to sleep in the adjoining room I used to hear the parents come in to comfort her after about 30 minutes of screaming.

Hassled Sun 26-Jun-16 22:30:54

No, that's not normal. Or at least it's not my normal. I think it would be fair enough to knock on the door tomorrow and check that everything is OK, on account of you hearing the screaming the last few weeks/months/whatever. You probably won't get a positive response, but the neighbours will at least know that you are aware of it and disturbed by it. Maybe there's nothing they can do, but if there is something, your visit might focus their minds a bit.

ColdTeaAgain Sun 26-Jun-16 22:32:32

Poor little thing sad

MrsSpecter Sun 26-Jun-16 22:36:57

If the parents are comforting her then i would think its probably not a welfare issue and maybe she is sick. Some babies/children have issue that make life very uncomfortable for them.

KatzAttack Sun 26-Jun-16 22:40:04

I don't see if they go anywhere during the day - just they never go in the garden as it's a bit of a building site (and has been for quite some time).
I hear them indoors for much of the weekend. I'm at work during the week so don't know their schedule.

She's shut up now. Parents must have a 30 minute scream limit.

I'm turning 30 soon... perhaps I'll have a particularly loud party so that they realise just how thin the walls are. I think they don't quite realise how much the noise transmits. I'm very quiet and so was my Nan.

Msqueen33 Sun 26-Jun-16 22:41:47

My dd has autism and screams frequently throughout the day. We're in a terrace and I feel awful for the neighbours. I normally move her to the dining room where there's an alley between us and the house next door. Her middle sibling also has autism so shouts a lot when home from school. It could be a special needs thing or she could just be an unreasonable toddler.

Maybe83 Sun 26-Jun-16 22:48:07

My dd is nearly 3 now. She had reflux has severe allergies. She spent most of the first two years screaming her head of. She did start to sleep at night until the beginning of this year. So in my house yes completely normal. I actually knocked into both my neighbours to discuss it with them. Had I not I imagine it entirely possible there could have been a similar thread some were on the Internet about me wondering what exactly we were doing to her to that caused her to randomly scream the house down all hours of the day and night.

Maybe83 Sun 26-Jun-16 22:50:21

Oh I forgot the most important part eczema that caused her to scratch all night until she bled. Responsible for most of the random crying and of course chronic exhaustion from never sleeping!

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 26-Jun-16 22:58:32

my first thought would be the poor mote is ill. Dd was cmpi and in alot of pain she screamed as a baby.

if she suffers from eczema or I tolerances or reflux still there's not much they can do besides what they are probably already doing.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 26-Jun-16 22:58:56

mite

ImGoingToTeabagYourDrumkitDale Sun 26-Jun-16 23:07:18

For a split second I thought you were my neighbour.

My son will be 2 in August and all he does is scream recently sad all day, every day. He's very "difficult" at the moment.

She may grow out of it, why not write a note and and tie it to a bottle of wine and say something like "it sounds like your having a rough time right now and could probably do with this bottle or two, but I hate to be a moany neighbour but I'm struggling to sleep, I know this sounds selfish, and your probably struggling too, is there any chance we can chat?"

I wouldn't find that harsh and I have a screamer

Mov1ngOn Sun 26-Jun-16 23:10:43

Mine screamed every hour at night.she had sleep apnea and woke terrified. She sometimes had night terrors that would go on too that would last 20mins or so of screaming.

The poor mum

Unless she's sleep "training" and leaving to cry.

Callwaiting Sun 26-Jun-16 23:14:01

I had a screamer. Tantrums really, but they involved screaming, largely when he was tired or couldn't get his own way. It was loud and embarrassing but normal.
The child may be poorly or autistic or just a stroppy sod (they do exist!) and as you're clearly not at home 24/7 then passing judgment on the amount of time the child spends outdoors is inappropriate and especially to link it to the screaming.
I understand that it must be annoying (thankfully our house is detached!) but some of the comments on here are ridiculous. Unless you think the child is being hurt (which I don't think you do from your op) then there's very little you can do and mentioning it to the parents won't achieve much, apart from possible make them anxious that their family is being judged.

KP86 Sun 26-Jun-16 23:25:35

Not laughing at your situation, but your comment that the other NDN's DC coming in at 6am is sweet is rather hilarious.

This Mum isn't ready for the day until at least 7!

MaryPoppinsPenguins Sun 26-Jun-16 23:33:12

My first thought was reflux... My DD didn't stop screaming for about 18 months and this was why!

I second the bottle of wine and asking to chat?

GlitteryFluff Mon 27-Jun-16 00:01:07

This could so be about me!
DS is 2 in August and he tantrums so many times during the day because he can't have his own way.
I have to say no /stop him if he's doing something naughty/playing with something he shouldn't/about to hurt himself, then the tantrum starts and the only way to stop it is to give him whatever he wanted(!) or wait a few minutes and try to distract him.
I do try talk to him throughout, ask for cuddles, try to distract him with a drink or snack or a toy, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I can't give in to him. I'm hoping it's just a phase and he'll grow out of ASAP!

KatzAttack Mon 27-Jun-16 17:16:50

I think I'm going to give it 6 months and see if she grows out of it. As most of you say if she just has eczema, allergies, reflux or is disagreeable in temperament then the parents can't do anything anyway and I'd rather not make enemies.

I don't really want to have the "Is there something wrong with your child?" conversation unless I really have to.

My worry is about autism as she isn't going to grow out of that. I'd hope the parents would tell me if she did have particular special needs that made her noisy.

If she's still screaming fitfully at Xmas I'm going to have to ask them what the matter is... I'll need to have to make a decision at this point about how I might reduce the noise in the bedrooms or just learning to sleep with ear plugs!

Thanks for your wisdom everyone.

Xmasbaby11 Mon 27-Jun-16 17:20:39

I think I'd mention it now since its affectING your life so much. The wine idea was good.

DixieNormas Mon 27-Jun-16 17:26:43

Well if it is Autism they parents probably won't know that's the reason yet.

Ds4 is 3.4 and has autism, he's developed a really annoying high pitched scream that gets worse if we try and stop him.

Luckily he sleeps 6.30-6 atm so isn't keeping people awake!

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