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(9 Posts)
Mari22 Sun 12-Jun-16 17:04:47

Hi, looking for advice please. Right, here goes. I've got a special birthday coming up soon and I'm struggling with what to do about whether or not to celebrate it with anyone. I have a sister who I don't speak to and who the rest of the family treat as if the world revolves around her. I don't want to invite her to any celebration as she probably won't come and tbh I don't want her there. We haven't spoken for over 10 years now and I've got nothing to say to her. When other family members have had special birthdays, anniversaries etc they have had parties arranged for them but no one has offered for me as they're too afraid of upsetting my sister!
The second thing is I have friends, but no close friends. I've tried to arrange parties and nights out with them recently but people haven't replied to the invite or just haven't turned up.
So my question is do I have any sort of party? Options are - no party; party with my family minus my sister; or party with family and friends. Thing is I'll admit to being frightened that no-one turns up. It's very upsetting to think that no-one can be bothered with me.
And I'm not asking for anyone's sympathy, everyone has problems and I try just to get on with things but I just really don't know what to do this time.
Sorry it's so long, but thank you for taking the time to read it xx

wavingnow Sun 12-Jun-16 17:08:00

I would try to think of something you would enjoy treating yourself to and just get on with it. No need to tell anyone just treat yourself.

jerryfudd Sun 12-Jun-16 17:11:18

Why waste money on people not that bothered? Like pp said, I'd go on holiday or treat myself instead

Theimpossiblegirl Sun 12-Jun-16 17:13:09

That's really hard. I would arrange something small that you will enjoy. Maybe a nice lunch, or a day out.
Family can be hard work and friendship groups can be fickle things. It might be worth asking a few of your friends if they would be available for a gathering.
It might be time to find a hobby or interest that will help you make some new friends, you sound lonely. I've been there.
Do you have children or a partner?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Sun 12-Jun-16 17:23:21

Why haven't you spoken to your sister for 10 years

AliceInUnderpants Sun 12-Jun-16 17:27:36

I've never had a party either, as I'd worry no one would turn up grin I have a close group of friends, but not heaps of them - that'd be too much hard work wink

For my 30th a couple of years ago, I arranged to go out with a couple of close friends for a meal and drinks. I posted on my FB saying "It's my birthday on X date. I will be eating and drinking at Y place from Z time. If anyone would like to join me, feel free."

NervousRider Sun 12-Jun-16 17:32:01

Party would be awful. Very costly and I would be so stressed worrying if anyone would show up - and with the thread you have written this seems a possibility.

RaeSkywalker Sun 12-Jun-16 17:35:56

I wouldn't do a party- do something for you, or organise something small, like afternoon tea? It's not worth the stress of worrying if people will turn up.

kittykat8545 Mon 13-Jun-16 12:02:17

Do sommething for youself, it's your birthday. I wouldn't make a party with people who I don't like, regardless if family or friends. Just make sure YOU feel good, because this is YOUR day. .

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