Read bedtime story to dd, turned out the light, she was upset and wanted to read more. I said no, she needed to go to sleep, put hand out for book, which she then threw in my face, hitting me. I said no screen time tomorrow, and left, it was too late for a scene. I don't know if this is sufficient really. She has had an unbelievably rubbish week, she was very tired. But throwing a book at her mother is pretty awful. Should she at 8 be less impulsive? She has 2 parties on Sunday, I'm tempted to stop her going, but is that just vindictive? What to do?
Is it normal for 8 year olds to lose it and become aggressive when really tired and upset? I don't remember ever hitting out at my parents. I worry about this behaviour. She only reacts this way towards me or dh, at school she is brilliant. But she will kick us occasionally, she seems to lose it, become impulsive. She's always very upset afterwards.
Can you both sit with her and have a talk about it in quite a formal way, I. E. No fidgeting, no interrupting. Tell her how totally unacceptable her behaviour was, how sad it feels for you and that if it should happen again she will be looking at a much heavier sanction. Tell her your initial punishment of no screens stands until whenever you said it would. Then ask her to apologise, hug her, twll her you know this is so unusual for your lovely girl and you totally trust she'll never do it again - and move on.
I think that's sufficient. Maybe a word in the morning about never throwing things at people. But I'd let her go to the parties. As a one off I wouldn't worry too much - is it part of a pattern of behaviour?
Hesterton that sounds good, thank you. She is gorgeous 90% of the time, a really good kid. But a bit jekyll and hyde when extremely tired and upset this aggressive monster appears. Like I said it has been an awful week, a much loved member of her school support staff died unexpectedly over half term, so school has been hard. But I do worry about this horrible impulsive behaviour. Hope she grows out of it soon. Just heard her get up.
In a way you've answered your own question- she was tired and upset. Lots of people have poor impulse control in those circumstances. Of course, there still had to be some consequent for her behaviour but it might be worth having a chat about triggers eg tiredness and how to act when she starts to feel overtired and overwrought. Home is her safe place hence why you and her DF see all the emotions she bottles up at school.
I would imagine tiredness was a big factor, but you were still right to follow through with screen ban. Let her go to the parties and work on some early nights and talking to her about controlling her anger. Hope you feel better about it all now.