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Cheat or not?

(8 Posts)
user1464710380 Tue 31-May-16 17:06:59

My boyfriend of a year and a half received a message while we was in bed off a girl who he assured me was just a friend. I got jealous and messaged the girl, she confirmed she was just a friend. He got really annoyed that I had messaged her and we temporarily split for 3 weeks. I have now found out that in this 3 weeks he took another girl out for a date on 2 occasions and she has been to his house 2 times aswell. She told me he hasn't asked to see her since me and him got back together but he still does message her on social media. He doesn't know I know this but it is breaking my heart. What do you think I should do? Do you think this counts as cheating? Most people say oh just get rid of him but I really don't want to! Somebody please give me some advice!

6demandingchildren Fri 03-Jun-16 10:35:03

I think you need to look at yourself and your insecurities unless you have that sixth sense and you know he is up to something. But all this is going to do is drive you apart. Sit down and tell him how insecure you are and what you know and ask him to explain.

user1464710380 Sat 04-Jun-16 10:46:43

I went to his house to talk to him about it but before I could get there she rang him and said I had been questioning her. This is untrue as she messaged me because she had been looking through my social media.
When I got there he was already angry but I calmed him down and shown him the proof that she had messaged me first. We then decided to put it behind us and move on from it. He messaged her and told her to stop contacting him now as we were trying again. When she had contacted me the few days earlier she had been really mean to me telling me he was obsessed with her and how well he treated her and how he said horrible things about me to her which was really upsetting. This caused me to say a few bad things about him back to her only minimal stuff like how he was a liar and didn't do nothing for me and how he was tight when it came to taking me out. When he told her to stop contacting him she then told him all the mean stuff I had said about him and she even lied and made worse things up saying I said them about him. This caused him to be really angry and us split up for real this time. He said it hurt more what I had said because I knew him well and she didn't. Why would she cause all this trouble between us when we had just decided to be happy? He has now blocked me from everything and I don't know what to do!

Paulat2112 Sat 04-Jun-16 10:52:55

You need to walk away. Delete his number and if he unblocks you then you block him!! This does not sound like a healthy relationship and you will be better off with someone else

AuntieStella Sat 04-Jun-16 10:55:19

I note you say 'girls' - are you all still teenagers?

If he sees other people when you have split up, that is not cheating. Messaging may or may not be cheating, depending on the content and whether it's deliberately kept secret (second phone or whatever).

I am not surprised your boyfriend decided to end the relationship after you had called him a liar etc.

It doesn't matter why she did what she did.

Gazelda Sat 04-Jun-16 10:59:39

From the way you describe it, it doesn't sound like cheating.
But you and he don't seem to have a happy relationship, both of you are involving other people.
I'd move on and forget about him. Work on strong friendships, your own self esteem and independence.

user1464710380 Sat 04-Jun-16 11:18:23

No I am 20 she is 24 and he is 25. I found out more things he had been saying to her such as I was never his real girlfriend I was just something to do. I fell right into her trap telling her nasty things about him I've let myself down. She also said he told her to hit me.
Thanks for your advice I think I do need to take some time to myself.

user1464710380 Sat 04-Jun-16 11:25:44

Hopefully I am better of with somebody else Thankyou for all your advice, he will realise when it's too late xx

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